We’re behavioural experts – these are the signs that your child is struggling mentally…and what you can do to help
NEARLY 400,000 children a month are being treated for mental health problems in England as anxiety soars.
Just under 40 per cent of six to 16-year-olds have seen their state of mind deteriorate since 2017, while 388,887 are undergoing or awaiting treatment, says NHS Digital.
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Over the past five years, the rates of probable mental disorders have increased from one in nine to one in six (17.4 per cent).
Eating problems have doubled to 13 per cent, while more than a quarter of six to ten years olds (29 per cent) and more than a third of 11 to 16-year-olds (38 per cent) struggle to get to sleep at night.
Research by children’s mental health charity Place2Be has found three quarters of school staff have seen increased levels of depression among pupils, 86 per cent noted a worsening of self-esteem and more than 90 per cent said it affected kids’ ability to learn in class.
Today, childhood behavioural experts Chris Calland and Nicky Hutchinson, who work in schools offering support, advice and training, tell Sun on Sunday Health the signs parents should be looking out for — and how they can help their children.
Chris said: “Anxiety is a normal emotion that we all feel at times. But it becomes a problem for children when it overwhelms them and prevents them doing everyday activities such as going out with friends or playing a sport that they love.
“Even before the pandemic, we were seeing a concerning rise in the number of children struggling with worry and feeling unable to put their hand up in class or even get out of bed and go into school.
“Social media, that is kicking in at primary school age, makes things worse. Children compare themselves to others and feel they are not matching up, which creates a ‘compare and despair’ perfectionism culture.
“Children are also hearing about climate change and war, so pick up that the world doesn’t feel very safe and secure.
Compare and despair
“The pandemic added to this, creating a melting pot of stress and pressure. We are seeing concerns even among the most robust children.”
In young children — usually from the age of six or seven — parents or carers should look out for changes such as their child maybe becoming tearful or clingy, and unwilling to do things away from them, being withdrawn or avoiding everyday activities.
She said: “Many of us feel physical signs of anxiety in our stomachs. So, in little children look out for them eating less, stomach issues, feeling sick or struggling to sleep well. It’s when it’s constant and debilitating that you really do want to seek help.”
As they get older, towards the teenage years, unhealthy or unsafe coping mechanisms can kick in.
They may also opt out of hobbies, sport and socialising. Nicky said: “Look out for really big changes in behaviour. They might become with-drawn or articulate some negative thoughts or have panic attacks.
“They are more likely to start to self-harm, or use drugs or alcohol as a way of self-medicating. Since Covid we have seen a huge rise in numbers of boys and girls with eating issues.
“All teenagers like to spend time in their rooms but there is a big rise in the number of those who really don’t want to go into school and are really struggling to get themselves out of bed. Once that starts, it’s hard to go back in, so it’s important to help them avoid that cycle.”
4 steps to take
CHRIS CALLAND and Nicky Hutchinson, authors of Tackling Anxiety In Schools, share ways to help kids manage anxiety.
EMOTIONS: Discuss these with your children. Do not just talk about happy, sad or angry. Include, for example, anxious, fearful and frightened. They need these words to recognise how they are feeling and know they can, and should, feel those emotions.
There is pressure for them to be happy all the time. Parents want them to be and social media makes them think they should be.
Normalise the fact that we aren’t always happy. Explain that emotions all serve a purpose and they don’t need to be covered up. It is good for men to talk to boys about emotions, too.
PRAISE: When your children talk about their feelings, give them positive feedback. Tell them: “I’m so glad you’re telling me about it.” Let them know it’s a good thing to do.
LISTEN: As adults, we often minimise concerns by saying: “Don’t worry” or we try to rescue them from anxiety by swooping in to sort it out.
But equipping them to address it, by saying: “That must be tricky – what we can do?” is a better approach. Keep it calm. If they see you panic, they will feel worse.
SLEEP: This has a massive impact on children’s ability to cope with the ups and downs of life. Take screens out of the bedroom and offer breathing and mindfulness strategies, or yoga, to help them sleep.
Children aged seven to 12 should be getting ten or 11 hours and 12 to 18-year-olds should have eight to nine hours.
