My Fiancée Is Disobeying Me-Is This A Red Flag?

True Life Story: My Fiancée Is Disobeying Me-Is This A Red Flag?

Dear Lively Stones,

Please I need advice. My name is Francis (not my real name). I am in a relationship for almost two years now. I met my girlfriend, now fiancée at a wedding two years ago. She was a wedding usher and she caught my eye. Very beautiful and attractive girl. She was in her 300 level at Unilag studying Mass Communications. We became friends after a while before taking things to the next level. I love her cos she’s intelligent and makes me laugh. She hails from Ondo state.

We recently got engaged after her final year exams. My intention was to get married after her youth service, maybe she gets a job and six months later or a year, we save enough to start married life. So, her youth service came and they posted her to Ogun state. I was very happy cos my parents live in Abeokuta. So, I felt she would stay in my family house after her camp. After camp, my girlfriend moved in with her friends to corpers lodge. I told her to go to my parent’s house but she would only visit and refused to stay there.

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So, this continued until, she had an issue with one of the corners and she said she can’t stay there anymore, and that she wants to rent a place. Given, accommodation is not so expensive there but for goodness sake, I have a family house in town that she can stay with. She said it’s too far from her place of assignment and she does not want to live with her future inlaw cos they will be monitoring her movement.

My girl’s two reasons to me is not good enough and so I refused to assist her get accommodation. How can she say the place is far for her when it’s just one taxi ride to her PPA? I will even give her pocket money for transport. And saying her future inlaws will be monitoring her is like saying my parents will be watching her. I just feel, staying with my parents will allow her to get to bond more with my family. Please this matter is raising friction in the relationship and I need your advice.

Right now, I don’t know who she is staying with. She is with someone she said is a friend and has refused to talk to me until I send her money for accommodation. Me too, I have refused to talk to her cos I feel she’s being unreasonable. Even the fact that I don’t know where she is staying, is giving me vibes like she wants the freedom to do anyhow…yes, she has never been a bad girl but knowing what some girls do at youth service, you never can tell….

We haven’t spoken to each other for almost four days. This is troubling me… then she posted a picture a few days ago on her status, she was wearing a very see-through outfit where she put out her tongue as these tik tok girls do….it was an s3xy picture….she captioned it: who is your daddy….I don’t know if she did that to make me jealous but I told her to take it down and she did but it’s making me think many thoughts….like, who is she with? Is she messing around? with who?

I know we are not married yet and this girl cannot take simple instructions from me…what if we now marry…she may do worse….she said I am overreacting but am I overreacting? I want to go and visit her this weekend but I am feeling angry cos she disobeyed me…she has never disobeyed me before….is she beginning to change? Should I still visit or just leave her alone until she comes to her senses or leave her to decide whether this relationship means anything to her after all?

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I say this because I know she knows how much I love her….she is waiting for me to yield to her wishes and send her money for accommodation. Normally, I would have sent her the money…I give her anything she asks every time except I don’t have the money. She knows I have the money and she wants me to get her place but I want her to stay with my folks. My parents are nice people and they love her….so the issue of them being bad to her will never arise….so why is my girlfriend insisting?

And more importantly….what do I do? Insist on her staying with my family or bulge and give her the money or just watch and see where this leads us to? I need your opinions, please.


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