The fox in “The Little Prince” said “Words are a source of misunderstanding.” Who invented words? Would we all be better off if words had never been invented? Surely without words there would be no Holy Bibles commanding the group members to kill all non group members for eternal paradise, no cars, no nuclear weapons and no credit default swaps. When was the last time you saw our ancestors the apes going hungry because of derivatives?
Many English words have numerous meanings. The question arises, when someone took a word that meant one thing and gave it a new meaning, why didn’t someone say, “You can’t give it that meaning because it already means…” The word “peace” has several meanings, not including the meanings of the word “piece”. The word “peace” spawned several new words like “pious” and “peyes”.
“Peace” means freedom from war or a stopping of war, a treaty or agreement to end war or the threat of war, freedom from public disturbance or disorder, public security, law and order, freedom from disagreement or quarrels, harmony, concord, an undisturbed state of mind, absence of mental conflict, serenity, calm, quiet and tranquility. Have you ever listened to your own mind’s thoughts? If a war is going on inside of each of our own heads then how can we ever come to a state of agreement between two people, or large groups of people?
This week a riot broke out at the Shawarma King Jewish Kosher Restaurant in Brooklyn when a Rabbi noticed a non kosher hot dog on the grill. It was like when the chocolate bar aka doody got tossed into the pool at the Bushwood Country Club during caddy swim in “Caddyshack.” A hundred peyes wearing men went nuts, and the owner of the restaurant fought back with an electric knife. Like Bill Murray in Caddyshack cleaning the pool in his haz mat outfit, the Shawarma King Restaurant threw out the equipment that came in contact with the non kosher hot dog.
The Old Testament, the Holy Scripture of Judaism, Christianity and Islam is filled with commandments to eat only Kosher food. Jesus Christ, the Jewish born Rabbi and Messiah of Christianity and Islam said, “It is not what goes into a person’s mouth that makes them unclean, but what comes out of the person’s mouth.” With all due respect to the creator of the universe, today Dr. Rashmi Sinha and his fellow researchers at the National Cancer Institute in Rockville, Md., discovered that eating red meat significantly increased the chances of heart disease, cancer and a short lifespan.
In response to the findings, the Jewish commissioner of Major League Baseball Allan Huber “Bud” Selig announced that henceforth baseball was banning hot dogs from all major league parks and switching to veggie dogs. The Fed was close to follow suit. Right hander Curt Schilling said, “I can deal with shoulder surgery and bleeding through my socks, but this is ridiculous; I’m outta here.”
The 2010 soccer aka football World Cup is scheduled to be played in South Africa. This Friday marked the opening of a peace conference in Johannesburg. All of the still living Nobel Peace Prize winners were invited to attend the meeting to discuss how soccer can fight racism and xenophobia. Xenophobia is fear or hatred of strangers or foreigners or of anything foreign or strange, like payot.
Unfortunately the soccer peace conference has now been cancelled because South Africa refused to issue a visa card to the 1989 Nobel Peace Prize Winner the Dali Lama. The conference was being hosted by Nobel Peace Prize Winners Nelson Mandela, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and FW de Klerk. The Nobel Laureates couldn’t even agree to meet. They have painted the head of the loving and peaceful religion of Buddhism as a part of the axis of evil.
The reason that the Dalai Lama and his Buddhist disciple Tiger Woods have been banned from South Africa is because China, which holds the mortgage on the United States of America told South Africa that if they allowed the Dalai Lama into the country, they would ban all sales of won ton soup to the African nation. Wonton are dumplings filled with pork. Commissioner Selig also banned the sale of wonton in all major league parks for fears of igniting riots in the stands.
Earlier this year the Dali Lama said that China had turned Tibet into a “Hell on Earth.” Human beings display an astonishing lack of foresight. Our advent into space has just begun and already we have so polluted outer space that millions of garbage projectiles are now orbiting the earth and it is too risky to shoot space shuttles into space without getting knocked out by our own garbage. Two space walking astronauts had to go outside this week to repair the damage to the Endeavor caused by a plastic wrapper from Chicago Style Hot Dogs. Watch Gretchen Wilson dressed as a hot dog catcher singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” before China forecloses on us, shuts down baseball and bans the Dali Lama from entering our country: