My Husband Is In Love With Another Woman-Please Advise Me

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My Husband Is In Love With Another Woman-Please Advise Me


I need advise. I think my husband is in love with another woman and I don’t know what to do about it. We have been married for six years, we have 2 children. My husband’s elder brother passed on a year ago from kidney complications and since then, my husband has been responsible for his family.

His wife has two sons for the late elder brother. My husband took up their schooling, feeding, accommodation, etc. To be honest, initially, I even encouraged my husband to be there for his late brother’s family because things were difficult for them. They had spent all they had trying to treat the kidney condition before the man died.

So apart from sending them money, my husband made it a point of duty to check on the children and the widow. Sometimes, he would tell me he is stopping by their house before coming home from work. And when he does, he will eat there and come home refusing to eat my food cos he has already eaten at his late brother’s wife’s house.

Then, he would be chatting with her many times at home. I began to find it strange but I was afraid to say anything because, what if he is just being nice to her and I was reading unnecessary meanings into an innocent situation? So, I kept my cool until last Easter my husband told me that the woman wanted to travel to Dubai for holiday, at least to rest and get away from all that has happened.

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My husband said he was going to sponsor their Dubai trip. I told him that was not necessary cos it was excessive considering that she is living off him. My husband went ahead and gave her 2.5M for she and her children to travel to Dubai. Then, my husband now said he would be joining them towards the end of their stay in Dubai, that he wants his late brothers’ children not to feel the loss of their father.

I found that excuse very foolish and I told him he will not join them. My husband said me and the children can join in the trip, so we can all at least enjoy together. After much persuasion I agreed. To my dismay, hubby allowed this woman book our accommodation in the same hotel as theirs. I would have preferred a different place but she already booked our rooms in the same hotel.

For me, the trip was not fun cos everything we did, we had to do with the woman and her children tagging along. It felt like my husband had two wives. I had to tell my husband that he needs to respect me and put boundaries between us and the woman. He replied that I should stop insinuating rubbish that she is now family.

That made me upset cos it was clear, my husband was not listening to me and calling me jealous for no reason. The next morning, my husband woke up very early  and said he was going for jogging at the beach. I didn’t care. He started to do that for the next 2 days. The third day he did go out, I followed him. And my husband did not step out of the hotel building. He took the elevator and went to the floor below our floor and he was looking back all these time to check if anyone was tailing him.

My husband used a key card and went into a room. Minutes later, his brother in-law’s wife came and knocked on the door of the room my husband entered and he opened for her. I did not need anyone to tell me what I had just seen. I went to the door and knocked and knocked. They did not open for me. I started to shout and call my husband’s name, telling him I will not leave until he opens.

About 5 minutes later, the hotel security had to ask me to leave. I told them I was not going to leave until my husband opened the door. My husband finally opened the door and he dragged me by my hand to our room. It was the most embarrassing day of my life. He was enraged and started to say that I was the cause of what is  going on. That he was just being responsible for his brother’s wife and that their culture allows him to care for his brother’s wife when he passes on.

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I was shocked at what I was hearing cos I realized he was justifying the fact that he was cheating on me  with his brother’s widow. I told him over my dead body will I allow this woman take my husband. I broke down because it hit me that not only did I catch my husband cheating, he may actually be in love with this woman, otherwise, I don’t know why he will be defending his actions.

I cried every day of the remaining days of the vacation. My husband just ignored me. We returned home four days later and since then, my husband and I have not spoken. I reported him to his family and mine. The whole family is thrown into disarray cos they are against what my husband did. I am wondering whether there is any need for me to remain in this marriage.

Later on, due to family pressure, my husband called me and told me that he still wants our marriage and he was sorry for sleeping with his brother’s wife. That he got carried away because she was lonely and very attractive but that he will not do that anymore . He however said that I should not be poking my nose and demanding to know why he is caring for them cos he will continue to care for them as his brother’s family. He said he promised his brother that his family will never suffer.

When I asked him how do I know that he will not still sleep with her cos she is indeed attractive, he said I should trust him, give him the benefit of doubt. I love my husband and truly I want to our marriage to work but with his promise to take care of this woman and her children, what can guarantee that this woman will not steal my husband? The way my husband cares for her , I think he might even be in love with her.

I am truly worried. I have forgiven my husband. He does not go to her place everyday like before but what if they are meeting when he says he is at work? This woman is just the devil. She never even apologized to me. She does not greet me or call me. I still think she and my husband are secretly meeting.

I am truly worried…will my marriage work out or have I lost my husband to this woman already? I try to not ask too many questions when he does things for her, like ask him how much he sent to her but I feel so uncomfortable. Please what should I do? Please advise me.


Photo Credit:iStock

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