True Life Story: Help-I Need A Good Lie To Explain Why I Have Been Avoiding S3x With My Wife
Hi Lively Stones,
Just had a big fight with my wife of 9 years. This is the worst fight of our entire marriage and its all my fault. I don’t know how to make things right. I need your help and guidance. My wife and I had some challenges early in our marriage. She is a career woman and I admire her hustle but back when our children were very small, she devoted her time alot to work such that our kids were always being cared for by nannies and house maids. We didn’t have family members who could help us because my wife’s family are from Togo, very far from us while I am the last born, all my siblings are older than me, they have their own family and our parents are late.
I f*cked up during those times, I thought I was making a good excuse that my wife was abandoning her husband by sleeping with the maids. But eventually when my wife found out, it broke us up. Our marriage was over. My wife left our home for four months. It took the intervention of many friends and mentors and of course, 2 months of therapy for our marriage to come back after everything. Since then, I have never stepped outside of our marriage.
One of the reasons I never made that mistake of cheating again on my wife is because I found out that it took years for her to trust me again. Its not been easy because sometimes, she still suspects me when I close to a female that she does not know. We celebrated our 8th year wedding anniversary last year….and I think she finally relaxed all her fears of my commitment to the marriage. But alas, something terrible happened in the month of July.
I was on a business trip to South Africa for a business deal I have been chasing for 18 months. I met with the Chairman of the company in his company retreat in Johannesburg. After the meetings in the morning, this man would insist we party at his crib where there alot of girls and s3x and drinking going on. I politely refused all the girls her offered me but he said he cannot go into a multi dollar business with a man who is afraid to takes risk in life. All my explanation that I am faithfully married fell on deaf ears.
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Eventually, I thought, well, my wife will never know cos this is in another country. We had s3x with different girls. I was in SA for two weeks. I got the business and returned home. But even on my fight back home, I started having irritation and itching in my private parts. I got home and tried to take antibiotics but they didn’t work. Meanwhile, I was suspecting I caught an STD, so I turned down s3x from my wife the day I returned. I wanted to treat myself first cos I was not sure what it was. I did not want her to catch any disease.
I lied to my wife that I was tired….even tow days after….I just fingered her and used gave her oral cos I was not ready for penetration. By the second day, I was itching so much, the area was very red. I had to go to the hospital for test. I was praying it was not HIV. When the test came out, it was gonorrhea. I was devastated. I was placed on heavy drugs and injections. Thankfully, I had not had s3x with my wife, so there was no need for her to be tested too. But since I started taking the treatment, I have had serious problems.
First, I find it hard to have an erection…so even if my wife wants to play with my thing, it does not get up. The doctor says its the effects of the drugs I am taking cos they are steroids. Its been about six weeks now that I have been treating myself and dodging s3x from my wife….all in the name of I am busy at work, I am tired…I am under stress….etc. When I say that, my wife understands cos I can also make sure she has orgasm with my fingers.
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But two days ago, my wife got very suspicious. She said I have changed since my trip from SA…that she knows me very well, that no amount of stress can make me not want sex. So she wants to know what happened. I was almost breaking down and crying but I told her that its stress that is making me loose interest in s3x….she demanded that I fck her or she will force herself to go out and meet a man to fck her. I refused…tried again to distract her with oral but she refused….she started tugging at my manhood…trying to arouse me.
Thank God the rashes were gone so she would not notice I had an infection but the more she tried, the more I could not get an erection. She felt frustrated and eventually left it. The next day, she went and got some tiger nut drinks with ginger and garlic. This mixture usually makes me quite hard. She gave it to me for dinner last night. I was happy hoping my baba would react. But it did not…we tried all the known tricks in the s3x book but nothing happened.
My wife slept off crying. I was crying too deep in my heart. Around 4.30am this morning. My wife turned to me and said if I don’t tell her what happened to me, that she will leave our house. I told her nothing happened that she should try and be patient, that I believe things will get better. My wife got so upset that she started fighting me….ol boy…a s3x starved wife can be wild. I was confused ,…didn’t know what to do so I told her that she no longer turns me on. That her s3x game was wack.
I swear, I don’t know what made me say such a rubbish thing but my wife went wild and said…you too, you think you are great in bed when you are just a 7mins man. Mahn…we started insulting each other, my ego was so bruised …shocked at my wife saying my game was not good. I said all that to get her off my back but she was fuming so much that she got up and left to sleep in the guest room. She has been in the room all morning. When she came out, she just made breakfast for the children and went back to the guest room again, locked it.
Guys…my wife is hurting…I never seen her this mad. I am also upset …its like I am loosing control of my mind….I want to tell my wife what the real problem is but if I tell her….I know she will leave me and I can’t let her leave me. I don’t know what to do. I thought of talking to the therapist that helped us years ago but the therapist has become like a family friend to us now, I cannot face her to say I f*cked multiple girls and I got infected with gonorrhea….she will not look at me the same way again.
From what my doctor said, the effect of the treatment for my STD will last from between 3 to 6months. Guys….I can’t go on pretending to my wife. She is now suspecting ….I need to think of a better excuse to give her…cos telling her that her s3x game is wack is not working out well. Maybe I should travel again….and come back when am ok….my wife will feel so bad…but I need a new and better strategy…cos telling her the truth is simply the worst mistake I will ever make in my life.
Someone said there are African herbs one can take to treat this STD quickly, can anyone pls recommend one for me….will it work well since I am already on drugs? I need your help.
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