Divorce Recovery – 7 Tips For How to Make a Smooth Recovery From Divorce
Recovery from divorce is hard. The good news is YOU CAN DO IT. In fact, with some focused effort and a little help, you can recover from divorce faster than you ever thought possible.
Making a successful recovery from divorce requires both insight and action. The following tips highlight the most important insights and actions necessary.
TIP #1 – YOU’RE NOT UNUSUAL – YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Statistically, there are a lot of us. 40% of first marriages and 60% of all remarriages eventually end in divorce. Emotionally, everyone is pretty much in the same boat. Ambivalence rules the day. Roller coasters are the preferred method of emotional transport. Realistically, anyone you know who has gone through, or is going through a divorce, can identify with the reactions you are having. You are not alone.
TIP #2 – YOU CAN MAKE A SUCCESSFUL RECOVERY FROM DIVORCE – BECAUSE YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE
Do you say you haven’t been divorced before? Doesn’t matter.
All transitions force us to go through the same process of change – whether it is losing a job, getting married, starting a family, death of a loved one. Whatever. What we’ve learned from these life experiences we can apply to make it through our current transition through divorce.
TIP #3 – YOU ALREADY POSSESS ALL THE PERSONAL RESOURCES NECESSARY TO RECOVER FROM DIVORCE
Confidence, a sense of direction, and hope seem to be the first to go when trying to recover from a divorce. But, not to worry. You can deal with it. More specifically, we gain confidence from successfully navigating past major life transitions.
- find the stability of direction from our unique set of personal principles.
- obtain the courage to press on from our sources of hope. And,
- obtain reassurance that we are on the right track through a sense of gratitude for the good present in the current situation
TIP #4 – YOU NEED TO RECRUIT AT LEAST ONE “CHANGE BUDDY” FOR SOCIAL SUPPORT AND FEEDBACK
We need to find people (or at least one person) we can lean on for emotional support and count on for objective feedback while we make our recovery from divorce. These folks must have two important characteristics. They must have no personal agenda and they must be able, to be honest with you. Only then can you count on their feedback as being objective.
TIP #5 – YOU CAN AND MUST DISSOLVE THE MASSIVE RESISTANCE TO CHANGE THAT COMES WITH DIVORCE
Fear, loss, and uncertainty about what to do next sabotage our efforts to make a victorious recovery from divorce. However:
- we can handle our fear of the unknown future if we have a plan.
- we can let go of how things used to be – even the good stuff – when we realize there is even more good stuff in the next chapter of our life after divorce.
- we can resolve our rational reservations about making a recovery with old-fashioned problem-solving.
TIP #6 – YOU CAN AND MUST USE WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED FROM GOING THROUGH THE DIVORCE PROCESS TO MAKE YOUR RECOVERY SUCCESSFUL
Only by using your experience to clarify your future requirements, needs, and wants for your life after divorce, can you capitalize on the great opportunity divorce offers. These learnings apply to your entire life including finances, health, relationships, and self-expression.
TIP #7 – YOU MUST LAY THE GROUNDWORK FOR THE MANY CHANGES THAT WILL OCCUR TO MAKE A SUCCESSFUL DIVORCE RECOVERY
Divorce brings a change in our relationships, our health, our financial situation, and our opportunities for creativity and self-expression. A successful divorce recovery demands that we attend to and plan for this wide range of changes to fully and joyously embrace the next chapter in our life after divorce.
