When it comes to understanding human nature, the nature of relationships is probably one of the most complex and can be a whirlwind to understand. We all want to love and be loved – this is a universal fact that we can all agree on.
However, relationships can sometimes go through rough patches, and while it is easy to write basic rules on paper, the fact of the matter is that it doesn’t feel all that simple at all. There are no set rules about what to expect at any given time, and sometimes, all we need is a bit of guidance and information to help us understand that we’re not alone.
This is why we’re dedicating this article to bring light to common relationship problems and what they’re all about.
Allowing the Past to Create Tension
It’s important for us all to understand that everyone has a past. Most of the time, you’re going to end up with someone that may have made some bad and questionable decisions in the past. What is important for you to know is that you must enter any relationship with a certain mindset, otherwise, it will most certainly fall apart.
People learn from their past, and they move on, trying to do better for themselves. If you get into a relationship and your partner trusts you enough to open up about their past, don’t judge them or hold it against them and just leave it where it belongs – in the past. If you judge your partner on their past and resent them for it, then this issue won’t go away and will only create unnecessary tension that will ultimately tear the relationship apart.
All the potential of a great and successful partnership will fall to nothing just because one of you held on to things you simply cannot change.
Issues in Sexual Chemistry
There is a lot of shame and pride involved when it comes to sexual chemistry, and you’ll find that many couples are not honest about their needs or the nature of their chemistry with their partner. This will sooner or later bring things to a halt if not confronted.
Some people have trouble with intimacy. This could be construed as neglect or rejection by their partner. You’ll find that Intimacy Anorexia shows up in relationships in a number of ways; it can range from an inability to get too close to their partner to an inability to stay loyal to just one person because there’s a certain barrier there.
Just as it’s important to get to know your partner on a personal level, knowing what they are all about, sexually, is just as important because it plays a pivotal role in the strength of your relationship. If you don’t work on your sexual chemistry, even though you love each other, there will be a wall built up, whether you intend to or not.
This is probably one of the most common problems and is the culprit for many relationships falling apart early on and not lasting for too long. When you first meet someone, there’s somewhat of a sixth sense about whether you ‘click’ or not. You either feel at ease with them and feel attraction, or you don’t. The initial phase of any relationship is the most fun, but the true challenge comes later on.
If you find that, for some reason, you’re both not communicating the way you used to, don’t brush it away and make excuses for why this is happening because the fact of the matter is that it will not magically get better while you hope and pray for a miracle. You need to confront the situation immediately and see where the change happened, why, and if it’s something you can overcome with each other.
Communication is the root and foundation of every relationship, and if it is weakened or compromised, you don’t have a shot at salvaging it at all.
The Absence of Boundaries
Just as we like to think that we give ourselves wholly and completely to our partners, we need to realize the value of boundaries. This is a tricky one to get a handle on because you often want to have your partner with you in everything to show that you want them to be a part of your life. However, this can be dangerous because once you show your partner the door across a certain boundary, it’s going to be extremely difficult and taken negatively if you suddenly decide you want to close that door down the line.
You must always remember yourself and what you need as an individual, and clarify this from the get-go so that the boundaries are set and there’s no awkwardness. True love means respecting boundaries and giving each other space.
This is the hardest hurdle to overcome if you are both not clear about where you stand financially in your lives – both as individuals and as a couple. There’s no rule book to how expenses need to be worked out in a relationship because the truth is we’re all different, we live in different cultures with varying traditions, and our fiscal circumstances differ as well from one person to another.
This, too, is an issue that can truly tear a happy couple apart because as much as we’d like to deny it, money does play an important role in how we live our lives. To even have the basics in life, you do need some money. This is why it’s important that once you decide to officially become an exclusive couple, you honestly sit with one another and say what you’re comfortable with and what kind of financial scenario would work best for you and avoid conflict in the future.
We all need relationships in our lives, but more than that, we need to understand what having a healthy relationship entails. It’s important to get our heads out of the clouds long enough to understand that sometimes, problems will occur and that it’s okay. The important thing is being able to identify these problems and confront them head-on. Only then will you be able to have a mature and strong relationship.