The Miracle Of Kankara, Cows And Snakes By Achike Chude

Hurray! Our boys have been brought back safe and sound – all 344 of them. They were suddenly kidnapped by bandits on the 11th of December 2020 from their school, Government Science Secondary School, Kankara, Katsina State, North West, Nigeria. The kidnap was attributed to the bandits, one of the violent set of people plaguing the north.

 

But Boko Haram is not pleased that we ascribed the kidnap of hundreds of our young secondary school boys to the kidnappers. They feel insulted that ‘ordinary bandits’ would be credited with kidnapping more people than they did in 2014 and 2018 when 276 and 110 Chibok and Dapchi girls were kidnapped. So, to correct this false narrative, they boldly announced that they, and not bandits were responsible for the kidnapping. But the army and the government suggested that they were lying.
And this is rather confusing. Many Nigerians believe that If the Boko Haram people are liars, then the government is also a liar, perhaps a bigger liar. Was it not the government through the president, presidential spokesman, Minister of Information and Chief of Army Staff that told Nigerians at different times that Boko Haram had been technically defeated, degraded, incapacitated, pulverised, and annihilated? Was it not the army that told us how many times Abubakar Shekau, Boko Haram leader was killed?

The army and government are yet to tell us exactly how they performed the wonderful feat of rescue after many of the boys escaped by themselves at different times and returned home. This is before the 344 were ‘rescued’. The whole thing is so confusing, perplexing, mind buggling, and befuddling.
Everybody was involved in the situation one way or the other – bandits, Boko-Haram, and even Miyeti Allah, who people accuse of being the killer herdsmen or the power behind the herdsmen.
But we must praise all the those who were involved in resolving the crisis as they cooperated and coordinated with one another. As the crisis unfolded, the state government talked to the federal government, the federal government talked to the army, the army talked to the herdsmen, the herdsmen talked to Boko-Haram, Boko-Haram talked to the bandits, and the bandits brought back the boys through the army. Or is it the other way round? But regardless, what is critical is that the boys are back and we are glad.

And to make the whole matter even sweeter, the government says that not one single kobo was paid to the bandits or Boko-Haram or whichever group was involved. Some bad belle Nigerians do not believe that bad bandits and bad Boko-Harams could become good bandits and good Boko-Harams overnight and release the kidnapped boys out of the goodness of their hearts. After all, what of the thief on the cross during the crucifixion? Did he not repent in the very last minute? What if the consciences of the bandit kidnappers were pricked and they felt sorry for their sins and wayward ways and decided to change?

Perhaps they had heard that Lai Muhammed, Garba Shehu, and Femi Adesina were all in tears and decided to ‘sorry for them.’ as Nigerians would say. Still, these bad belle Nigerians will not believe. They have reminded us how Lai Muhammed, the Minister of Information, told us in 2018, how the Dapchi girls were released free of charge by the nice Boko-Haram terrorists after the federal government begged them and talked to them nicely.

At first it sounded too good to be true, but we reluctantly decided to believe Lai Muhammed, especially since he once told us on national television that he has never told a lie in his entire life. And that story subsisted until that nosy, busybody international organization, the United Nation decided to embarrass Lai by telling us that Nigeria paid a large sum of money in dollars to the terrorist Boko-Haram for the release of the girls. And what did Boko-Haram do after receiving payment?
They simply went to the market, bought heavier and more deadly weapons, improved their logistics and  began to kill more of our soldiers and people through more daring and brazen attacks. I truly hope that this time around, it is the ‘abeg’ and pleas from the government that led to the release of the boys and not dollars, otherwise there will be more kidnappings and killings and more settlement by the government that will lead to more kidnappings that will to even more settlement that will lead to yet another kidnapping and more………. You know it.

But come to think of it! Is it that these bandits are so thoughtless, or foolish, or fearless that they would visit the lion so rudely in his den? How could they have dared to strike or carry out their terrible attack at the exact time the President and Commander-in-Chief of Nigeria’s Armed Forces was in his home state, Katsina?

How dare they put their hands in the scorpion’s hole and believe that they would get away with it? Dem no dey fear? A president that had dared the National Assembly when he refused to answer their invitation to talk about the same insecurity in the country. A president that no longer bothers to talk to Nigerians about the things that are uppermost in their minds.

But truly, times have changed. These bandits have been poking their fingers into the president’s eyes for so long now and ‘nothing spoil.’ Heaven did not fall! They have been operating freely for some time in the president’s own state, not to talk of other parts of the country and there have not been consequences. Maybe it was good that the president decided to ignore them and rather chose to visit his cows while in Katsina State. Nothing annoys a man or woman more, who is seeking attention by trying to openly embarrass you and you absolutely ignore such a fellow.

One of the primary objectives of the terrorists is to change our way of life. The president did not allow them to change his. In spite of the kidnapping, he still went ahead to visit his cows, to determine their state of health and wellness. And to perhaps show loyalty, the Chief of Army Staff, Tukur Buratai whose men were also engaged in the pursuit of the bandits also did not abandon his snake farm.

At least he has shown that what the president can do, he can also replicate. He was reported to have paid his snakes a visit to be sure that they were also in good health. There were even pictures of him on social media holding a massive snake, a broad smile on his face.

Or perhaps there was something the president and his Chief of Army Staff knew that the rest of us did not know. Anybody who heard or knew about the famous Octopus Paul, the sea Animal who accurately predicted world cup football matches would know that animals can be very omniscient and prophetic. In the 2010 world cup, before each designated  match and during divinations, Octopus Paul predicted hundred percent, the winner, right down to the team that won the world cup final.

Like Octopus Paul, who says that President Muhammadu Buhari and his Chief of Army Staff, Tukur Buratai did not have accurate divinations from their animals that the Kankara boys were safe and would be returned safely and that there was therefore, no need to fret and panic. If that were so, were they not proved right?

But seriously, this insecurity has gotten out of hand. We just cannot continue like this. If people do not know this by now, they should know that we are all in danger, whether we are in the north or south. Where is our Commander-in- Chief?