She Is Not Willing To Apologize To My Family!

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How Do I Marry My Fiancée : She Is Not Willing To Apologize To My Family!

I need your advise. I think my proposed marriage just ended …I just want to sample opinions before I take my final decision. Myself and my fiancée have been together for 3 years now. It was initially off and on relationship because I was away studying abroad while she was here.

Things became finally stable for us when I moved back to Naija last year. Somehow, she found out that I was involved with one or two women while I was abroad but since I returned, I have not been with anyone else except her.

We started the traditional marriage rites last year. We have done introduction. We have printed invitation, we have put everything on social media…pre-wedding shoot…everything…what was remaining was Traditional wedding rites and the white wedding which will be two weeks apart.

It was at the traditional wedding rites that things went array. In my place, its part of the traditional marriage rites that a woman will take an oat that she has never been unfaithful to her future husband…and that she has no children from past relationships…and will take an oath to die if she lied about any of these.

My wife shocked everyone by refusing to take the oat. It was in the presence of my family and hers. Everyone looked at her in disbelief. I took her aside and questioned her why she refused to take the oath…she said…she cannot lie that she was unfaithful once during the time I was abroad…and that its no big deal cos I also cheated at the time.

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That was a surprise for me cos was giving me stress for cheating on her then…while she too was busy doing the same. She has said that she expects us to put the past behind and move on without the traditional oat.

It took some convincing but I agreed on one condition. That I know the person she cheated with. She insisted it was not necessary. To me, that means she is not ready to be 100% clean and honest with me. I told her that is my condition. This woman said she would not reveal names.

Later she revealed a name and mentioned a random person she said she met on IG. In my heart…I was not convinced. I insisted on the truth…I told her to swear the oat that she would die if she was still lying. She refused to swear. When I told my family and hers that was my condition, she was now forced to spill.

And her spilling is making me have second doubts….the person my wife to be slept with is my younger brother. Well, half brother. She said it was a mistake but what pained me most was that…she knows how much I dislike this half brother of mine. He took every love my father had for me when he was born.

He was pampered and I was ignored. He is still my brother but I detest his personality. ANd I told my fiancée that when we met and were discussing. She said…it happened when she found out I was cheating when I was abroad and she was so pissed that she confided in my brother who saw her crying.

And he comforted her and that was how they ended up in bed….why do I not believe this story. I still do not like my half brother and his mother. Why should I marry this woman after this? My family has said that she must apologize to the entire family for sleeping with two blood brothers before issues can be mended.

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Again…my girl said I cheated…and she cheated…why should she be made to apologize to my entire family….I cheated…yes…but with strangers…she did that with my blood…how do I or even my family forgive such a thing without an apology…

Is this marriage thing over before its even started? What would you do if you were in my shoes. I love her…my friend thinks I should forget the past and move on…but without an apology to my family…is this not a red flag? Advise me please….

Anonymous

Photo Credit:nescomedia

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