See How Curiosity Is About To Destroy My Marriage

True Life Story: See How Curiosity Is About To Destroy My Marriage

Dear Jzhane,

Would you kindly keep my identity out when you post this? I will also appreciate if you can post this quickly because I feel like my life just got shattered. I also want my husband to see how much he hurt me. What he did, I cannot tell anyone else because it will ruin his life and career, so permit me to vent on your blog as an anonymous poster. I met my husband five years ago and we have been married for two years.

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My husband is my best friend which makes this betrayal very hard to come back from. It all happened a day after Christmas. I had travelled to Ibadan for my younger sister’s wedding which happened on Saturday before Christmas. My husband went with me but he returned on Sunday cos he said he had some important things he wanted to attend to. I stayed back for Christmas with my family which was Monday.

I told my husband I was returning on Monday afternoon but I got a free ride back to Lagos very early on Tuesday morning, a day after Christmas. One of our relatives decided to leave Ibadan by 6am to Lagos and I joined him. So by 7.35am, I was already in Lagos, in my home in Omole estate (not real location pls). I decided to surprise my husband. I knew he would still be sleeping of course so when I rang the bell, he was not expecting me.

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Excitedly I hugged him and said surprise…and yes he was surprised like very surprised. But I was laughing that I caught him off guard that I did not notice he was panicking as well. But I was pressed and so I rushed into our bedroom, to use the toilet to ease my self. It was only then I realized that my husband was holding my hand and trying to get me away from our bed room. I asked him why are you holding me…he said …I should not go into the bedroom cos it was disarranged.

I was so what? Abeg..I want to wee. My husband was now holding me with alot of his strength…I was like…ah ah ..what is this…leave me alone. He started raising his voice and then I said…what are you hiding….he stammered…then cold fear came all over me….I pushed him off me and ran to our bedroom…not sure what I was expecting to see but he was right…the room was in a scattered state. But that was not my concern.

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I looked around and saw that there were many bottles on Hennessy on the floor…so clearly…someone has been drinking…next…I smelled a strange smell and it smelled like Igbo…I looked around cos I also saw someone’s clothes and they did not look like my husband’s clothes. I went straight to the toilet and discovered it was locked from inside. Someone was definitely inside. I sank to the floor….my husband Tunde had someone…locked in the toilet…someone he had drank and smoked weed with last night…who is the person…which woman is this? Why did Tunde bring another woman into our home….my bedroom?

Is it because I am yet to conceive? I know we been married for two years and we have been trying but Tunde has always told me not to worry….that we are young and there is still time, so I should not worry. So why will he cheat on me. My body was shaking. I started banging on the door…Tunde tried to remove me from the door but I refused and said I will scream until the person comes out. We continued to tussle…and the next thing…the door opened and out came out the person in the toilet.

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I expected to see a woman….a girl….but out came a man…and he was stark naked. I became more confused because I could not comprehend what a naked man was doing in my bedroom toilet. The young man came out, apologized and said he is just a client and he is leaving so me and my husband can sort ourselves…going where? Which client….I asked very fearful….are you sleeping with my husband? The guy never answered me…he just started to collect his clothes and hurriedly started leaving.

Then it hit me…the guy was a male prostitute that came to spend the night with my husband. By this time…all the strength I was using to tussle with Tunde just faded….I fell to the ground….and became speechless. Tunde started crying…saying babe…nothing happened…I got drunk…I got high on igbo…I just met this guy at the club last night…he just offered me a blow job…and I was just being curious…I allowed him come to the house to get a blow job…I am not gay…baby pls..pls…pls

I was like…if you are not gay…if he just gave you a blow job…why did he come to the house to spend the night with you….and he was stark naked and there are condoms on the floor…Tunde said its not what it seems…that he may have done some stupid things he regrets….but he is not gay …that he was only just curious. What do you mean by curious…that he just wanted to see what it felt like….to get a blow job from a man.

Ladies and gentlemen…..my husband is gay…nothing else he says makes me believe he is not. That day, I wanted to commit s#icide. I got sniper and drank it but Tunde snatched it out of my hand. He cried and begged. I told him, the only way is for him to tell me the truth…..that he is gay. Tunde is still swearing to me that he is not. That he is only curious. He showed me from google that its possible to be curious and not gay or homosexual. What does that even mean…I never knew that was a thing.

The next day, I told him to leave the house but he refused saying he is afraid I might try to take my life again. So, I told him to move into the guest room cos I could not stand seeing him. I then became angry and wanted to k#ll him. Now, the fear was over….the desperation had left me. Now, I was angry. Angry that Tunde lived a secret life for all these years. And he is still lying. That he is not gay but curious. What does it mean? I tried to stab Tunde but I could not. I loved him too much. I was helpless.

This has been my life since that day….full of anger and disbelief….and I dont know what to do. Divorce is the only thing on my mind but I am so scared of loosing Tunde cos I freaking love him. I need your advice. I cant go and tell anyone else what I have been through. Funny…I am even caring abut T that I dont want his reputation damaged. If he is gay, then it will be divorce but if he is just curious….is there hope for this marriage? I was so sad on new year day…we have not been able to speak to each other except on new year day when I was too weak to fight him anymore…and we made love.

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For a brief second…I wanted to forget that Tunde was caught with a naked man in our home but after making love…I wanted to pretend I was in a bad dream…it hit me. That my husband could be possibly gay or bisexual since he f#cks me as a woman and he likes men giving him blow jobs…abi? how else do I explain this? ….my heart cannot bear it. Why am I not enough for this man? Why did he have to go and become curious? What if its all a lie? Oh I wish I caught him with a woman, that I can even bear after everything…a man??

What should I do? Its a new year and I am so afraid that my marriage could be over…what else am I fighting for. Tunde has been very sober too. I have heard him crying some nights. I also fear he might hurt himself…he is ashamed I caught him. Maybe this was just a mistake? Is this only one time like he said? I need help and advice on what to do…has anyone been in this situation….how did they handle it? Is there anything like being curious and not gay?

I need some serious advice cos….I feel so lost. How do I ever trust Tunde again. How do I have children with this man? When did he even start smoking weed? He says its his first time…why? I love my husband but this betrayal feels like a big blow that our marriage cannot come back from. Never in a million years did I think Tunde would hurt me like this. Please where do we go from here?

Anonymous 

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