Record-setting ref not fazed by argy-bargy
Melony O’Connor has had it all thrown at her – on and off the court – in her rich and enduring career as a basketball referee.
There have been the usual verbal protests of players and coaches from disputed calls, and the heckling and booing from the crowd. Then there’s the vitriol spat at her by zealous fans on social media; even the odd death threat after a game.
But there have also been many rewarding moments that surpass the acrimony – simple words of thanks from coaches and players, and recognition for her decades officiating the top basketball leagues in the country.
And as she prepares for another season, poised to break the record for the most games refereed in the NBL’s history, O’Connor says she’s learned to take it all in her stride.
“It’s hard because it’s a sport where the coaches are active, and they’re entitled to stay things to you – as are the players. You don’t see coaches in rugby on the sidelines having a go at the ref,” she says.
“And people think it takes a lot of confidence to get out there in front of thousands of people and sometimes be booed. But I’m part of the game, and I love it. I particularly like the man-management side of the game at NBL level – that’s one area that keeps me enthusiastic.
“I’ve refereed for 40 years now and I’m not going to pretend I get excited refereeing my 56-year-old husband’s game on a Monday night. And while I don’t want to encourage a bit of rough and tough, that’s the challenge that I actually enjoy.
“As my husband says, I probably should have been a lawyer. I like a good debate.”
In her 23-year career at the top echelons of the sport, O’Connor is one of only three Kiwi officials to reach the 400-game mark (and the only woman to do so).
With a new season of the New Zealand men’s league starting this month, her total sits at 453 games. She’s expected to overtake Dallas Pickering’s record of 462 around May or June.
She’ll probably be a little embarrassed; the Wainuiomata mum isn’t one for fuss.
But the three-time Sal’s NBL official of the year – who became a Member of the NZ Order of Merit for her services to basketball – will still be chuffed.
“I still think of myself as a grassroots person and it’s nice for grassroots people to be recognised,” O’Connor says.
It hasn’t been easy journey. “I’ve had a few things in my personal life to deal with off the court, and spent 23 years in the sport while juggling raising two children. I’d be at my son’s rugby game or my daughter’s netball on a Saturday morning, and get a call they were short of refs, and jump on a plane in the afternoon,” O’Connor says.
“I may not have made it internationally, but little Melony from Wanganui has managed to get through – someone who doesn’t like running has persevered and lasted this long.”
Wanganui is where it all started for O’Connor, first handed a whistle at 13.
“I come from an era where before or after you played basketball, you had to do ‘duty’ – someone in your team had to referee,” she says.
When the best high school team in the country, Church College, came to Wanganui each year for a tournament before nationals, O’Connor and her sister would be the only girls allowed out of school to referee. “That really encouraged us,” she says.
“My family also ran a summer basketball league, where we’d fundraise to go to tournaments overseas. My sister and I played for our mum’s team and refereed.
“I probably lacked a little confidence as a teenager, and at times it was a bit overwhelming refereeing the men. Those were the days when you had jump balls, and as a little 13-year-old, there were lots of times when I asked the adult players if they could throw the ball up for me.
“I’ve always felt, for teenagers, it’s a great way to create confidence.”
O’Connor played basketball and coached college teams into her adult years. When she had her son and daughter, she was asked to help out as a ref in the local competition. From there, she was encouraged to take it further.
As her career progressed to men’s and women’s tournaments at a national level, O’Connor realised how vital it was to stay up with the game – both with her fitness and the rules.
She suffered her first injury two seasons ago, popping her hamstring in the warm-up before a game. “I rushed back for the finals and did it again in the last five minutes of the final,” she says.
“I hate to admit running is the one thing in life I’ve never enjoyed, and it’s taken a bit of mental perseverance to get through the beep test, which is our fitness test each year.”
Now in her 50s, she’s playing masters basketball in her local league and doing boxing and F45 classes.
To keep on top of the rules, O’Connor says there’s no better way than to constantly read the rule book.
“The biggest change we’ve had is to the travel rule a few years ago,” she says. “I had to reprogramme my basketball experience of 40 years, which took a little adjustment.
“At the start of each season, I’ll look at the rules pertinent to that top level of the game – like goal tending and interference. Re-reading the rules keeps you switched on.”
It’s advice she’d like to pass on to extremely passionate fans.
“I have a great husband who’s sat in the stands and learned not to comment when he hears people yelling abuse at me. But respectfully, some of it’s because they’re not up with the rules. So I don’t take it personally,” she says.
“Sometimes I laugh at comments from the crowd – not that I’m fixated on what they’re saying; I’ve got enough on the court to focus on. And I’ve had wonderful banter with people in the corporate boxes when I’m standing there during fouls.”
But there have been more testing times. “I once had a woman bully me on social media – and I couldn’t believe she worked in mental health,” O’Connor says.
O’Connor had a rough experience last season during the NBL final play-offs. A call was missed and she bore the brunt of the ensuing anger.
“As a referee, I’m only blowing the whistle because I think I’m right and you’re not going to know your errors until you get out of the game and see a video and realise, ‘Hang on, you were probably not at the right angle there. You probably saw that a little bit wrong’,” she says.
“I had to keep the game calm, but I had a fan leading the crowd against me for the two minutes before overtime. Then I had five minutes of players coming at me. I went to the changing rooms afterwards and my phone just blew up with abuse.”
O’Connor had to ignore the continued criticism online (and death threats sent to the league) and carry on officiating in the finals. But when she refereed the Tauihi Aotearoa women’s league the following week, the internalised stress took its toll on her physically: “When I started running, my body was gone.
“It took me most of the season and a lot of stretch work to get back on track but I was so rapt I’d reffed Tauihi, because I’d left the men’s season in not a good state.”
She was named Tauihi referee of the year. “It’s nice to be acknowledged, but sometimes it’s the little comments at the right time that are more rewarding,” she says. Like when two female coaches approached her at the start of Tauihi. “The first thing they said to me is ‘Oh, fantastic. We’re really happy to have you referee’. I almost cried.
“They wouldn’t have known what I’d just gone through, and it made me passionate about refereeing again.”
O’Connor feels fortunate to have male role models who’ve encouraged her through her career. “I’m only in the league because I was encouraged by one particular referee, Stan Battock, who held the all-time NBL record till last year and used to take me to pre-season games,” she says.
She’s also grateful to Ian Goodwin – a Taranaki farmer who has the national officiating award named after him. “He inspired me and made me understand that it’s not all about refereeing internationally. It’s got to be fun,” she says.
“It’s important as a referee to have a support system around you; to build whānau on and off the court.”
Dillon Boucher, the chief executive of Basketball NZ, is grateful for the work O’Connor has done to support young referees coming through the ranks.
“Melony has been at the top of the officiating ranks for many years in New Zealand and has been a true inspiration for not only young female referees but all those wanting to get involved in officiating the game,” he says.
“Her 23 years of service is most recognised at the national league level, winning multiple awards on the way. But she’s also put in countless hours with up-and-coming referees at tournaments, helping mentor them by showing them the pathway that she’s travelled.”
O’Connor, who started her working days in banking, spent a decade at Basketball NZ, as their referee development officer (she’s also worked for Wellington Basketball and the Saints Basketball team in the NBL).
She wants to continue mentoring young referees, and seeing more females come through. “At national championships level, refereeing has always tended to be male-dominated, but the balance is gradually improving,” she says.
“Referring is not for everyone, but I just love it. And I’ve been really lucky to spend so much time in the NBL.”
The post Record-setting ref not fazed by argy-bargy appeared first on Newsroom.
