Please Advise-Did My Indiscretion Lead To The Loss Of Our Child?

May 17, 2024 Stan

True Life Story: Please Advise-Did My Indiscretion Lead To The Loss Of Our Child?

Hi Lively Stones,

This story might sound crazy but I am in a tight position due to an uncertain indiscretion. Forgive me but I have been very afraid for the last few days. I hope I am just being paranoid and there is nothing to it…I know men who cheat and do terrible things and never suffer for it but I feel my wife and I are suffering for an indiscretion that I am not even 100% sure happened. Let me start from the beginning.

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So, I am married, for the last four years, my wife and I have been trying to have children but it has not happened yet. Its not been easy, the constant fear that something is wrong even though we have both been medically cleared. My wife and her mother have turned our house to prayer house, always fasting and praying. I am not that prayerful, but I support my wife emotionally to the best of my knowledge.

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And as God would have it, in March, we discovered my wife was pregnant. We were so happy and overjoyed. And then, my colleague in the office who lost his father and the office sent me and some people to go represent the office three weeks ago for the father’s burial. I did not want to go but its a colleague that I am quite close to and the place was not far, just Shagamu (not real location) here. We were to go and return same day.

Unfortunately, after attending the burial that day, there was heavy rain that day so we agreed to spend the night in a hotel. My wife was worried but I told her its safer to wait till morning before continuing our journey. So, all of us from the office stayed in the hotel. Then we were served food and palm wine from the colleague’s father’s burial. It was just all of us having a good time but after a while, guys were getting tipsy and started misbehaving among themselves with local hook up girls hanging around the hotel.

I also realised I was tipsy so I decided to go to my room to sleep. There was something about the palm wine that was served, it was strong and it actually was giving me such a hard on. Tipsy and very hard combination was such a bad idea. A colleague of mine noticed and was laughing at me…he was like I should get a girl to help me relax but I was like, I am not that kind of man…I dey go my room go sleep.

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I crashed into my bed soon I as I entered the hotel room. I was probably snoring cos I was not aware when this girl entered my room. Apparently, my colleagues sent a hook up girl to me…I was sleeping but she started touching me and I woke up….I told her no no no….she was like, they promised to pay her well if she gave me a good time…I was like, sorry…am married…I dont do hook up…so she said…how about hand job…I said no still but she was already grabbing my junk…

The wine and hard on did not help…the more she touched and put her mouth on me, I began to loose the battle. I found myself holding on to her head for dear life….I wanted to release so bad. In my head, it was only oral hand job that happened. But when I work up the next morning, both of us were stark naked on the bed…I have no recollection of what happened next. But I felt so much shame and regret seeing a hook up girl sleeping beside me.

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I got up and showered to get dress….it was while showering, the girl woke up and tried to join me to bath with me…I was fully conscious now and so I told her no way….she was disappointed and said she likes me…that I f#cked her good last night…I told her I did not do anything with her…only hand job. She laughed and said….you can’t remember but you were a horse last night…she then asked for my number…I told her to leave cos I never want anything to do with her.

Apparently, she was disappointed that I was now sober and did not want to have anything to do with her anymore. I dressed up and went to the car park to join my colleagues so we can start heading to Lagos. All through the trip, all the guys kept talking about was last night…how wild it was and that the palm wine that was served was a magic worker…I finally realized why I had such a hard on…I refused to talk even when the guys were asking me how was my night…I just kept mute in my disappointment in myself….

Its been three weeks since that trip to Shagam…..I have never been myself ever since. I feel like so bad about what happened with that girl. I try to put it behind me and tell myself nothing happened, it was just a hand job. Five days ago, my wife had a bad dream…she woke up and declared prayers. She said she saw someone trying to destroy me in the dream….a girl, actually a water spirit girl. After she prayed…I was almost tempted to confess to her but I was like, I cannot break her heart like that.

Everything was fine until 24 hours later…my wife called me to rush home cos she was bleeding…I rushed home….it was a huge pool of blood she was sitting on when I saw her…I rushed her to the nearest clinic….they tried everything but she collapsed and lost the baby. I cried and cried and she cried and cried….when we were discharged….she said to me…that she knows that someone…a woman is responsible for the miscarriage…she said they used my face to deceive her in the dream she had…so she thought I was the one they wanted to attack but not knowing that it was our baby they wanted to attack.

You see…..while I am not so spiritual like my wife….I am so scared that I have been thinking that my wife’s dream has something to do with that hook up girl in that hotel 3 weeks ago. I am so scared that I may have slept with someone diabolic…everything about that trip was just not right….we had a good condolence visit….only for rain to start falling when we were ready to go back….and the rain was so heavy….next, they served us palm wine that I suspect was spiked with something cos the way I got a hard on…and my other colleagues too were misbehaving…its not normal.

Now…I can’t remember having s3x with that girl but she claimed we had s3x…why can’t I remember? is that why I have lost my baby? Do you think there is a connection between these events and having a miscarriage? My wife’s dream makes me think there is a connection…..and now, if there is a connection….what do I do? Should I confess to my wife….how do I disconnect myself from whatever spiritual connection I have gotten myself into?