My Husband Wants Me To Choose Between My Newfound Faith And Our Marriage-Pls Advise
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My Husband Wants Me To Choose Between My Newfound Faith And Our Marriage-Pls Advise
I want the house to help me pray for my marriage. I am seriously overwhelmed and very discouraged. When I met my husband, he and I loved the same kind of lifestyle. We are extroverts. We party hard and do a lot of drinking, smoking, and clubbing. We dated for five years and we got married six years ago.
The issue is that, after we got married, I had been trying to get pregnant but it’s was not happening. We did all kinds of tests. Eventually, I was diagnosed with a leaking womb. My womb was slightly damaged by an abortion I had years ago. That made me really feel bad for my past lifestyle.
I decided to give my heart to Christ. I got saved. I stopped drinking, smoking and clubbing. My husband laughed at me and called me a freak. That he does not believe in religion. Which I understand because even me too,I did not believe until recently. So, I have been praying for him as I was advised.
However, it’s getting harder in my marriage cos my husband is upset that I do not do the things I used to do before. He hates that I tell him to quit the bad lifestyle too. And he says I have been brainwashed. I know he is an unbeliever so it will be difficult for him to understand my newfound faith but how he is treating me is really very painful.
He will go out clubbing as usual and do the usual, drink, smoke and now, he has started being unfaithful. He says I am no longer the woman he married. That I am boring because I don’t do the things I used to do with him. When he is talking dirty, I tell him I cannot do that anymore.
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Ma, when I was dating him, we had a threesome. It’s not something I am proud of. But we didn’t do it again. Now, my husband is saying I am too boring and he wants to have a threesome. I told him it’s not happening. Fine, let him be doing all the dirty things he is doing but I will not be involved with him. I am sure he went ahead to have the threesome outside.
He talks bad about church, pastors and says they are deceiving me. He practically makes me feel so bad especially when I am in fasting and prayer mood. I get encouragement from my Christian family but no one knows exactly how tough it is, to live with such a man. But I have decided to be patient no matter what happens.
And God answered my prayers. I got pregnant. I hoped that would change my husband but it didn’t. He was a great husband to me but still lived very wildly. I gave birth to a baby girl to the glory of God. As I said, that didn’t change my husband, in fact, my husband decided to push my patience to its limits.
My husband got his secretary pregnant. I found out when I woke up one night and heard my husband arguing with the girl on the phone. She was asking for 1M to get rid of the pregnancy or she will tell me. I almost died that night from the pain of betrayal. I got saved but I have lost my husband.
My husband blames me for his lifestyle. That I got married to God and abandoned him. He has said he cannot continue this way. That he is not saying I should not serve God but that I should come back to my old self. He then asked me what to do with the pregnancy: I told him to make sure she got rid of it.
Now, I feel so bad that I encouraged someone to get an abortion. I feel it’s a sin especially cos I almost lost my womb doing that years ago. But how do I live knowing another woman is pregnant for my husband and will have his baby? How long will my husband keep living like this? I have prayed for him for over 4 years now. I am tired.
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Maybe I need to take my child and leave this man. This is not the kind of environment I want my child to grow up in. He says he no longer finds me attractive since I became a churchwoman. It’s either I do what he likes or this will be our life. I am tired. I have no desire to continue to live like this. Please what do I do?
Anonymous
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