My Daughter’s Ex Wants To End His Marriage To Be With Me-Pls Advise

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My Daughter’s Ex Wants To End His Marriage To Be With Me-Pls Advise

The purpose of writing my story is just to get this off my chest. Its been like a burden for a while. My name is Titi (Not real name). I am 55 years old. My first husband passed on 20 years ago living me with four children.

I raised my children all by myself. I did all kinds of jobs and it was not easy. I vowed to stay unmarried because my late husband’s family showed me pepper. They treated me bad after his death. Even when my husband was alive…he also did not treat me well. He controlled my life and I had little or no say in the marriage.

His death was a surprise but also my freedom. That is not to say I have not had any relationships since then. But I made it clear to each man that I was not going to get married. I did not also want to have more children if I got married. I was done having children.

To the glory of God, my children are doing well today. My eldest son and daughter are married. While the other two, one was engaged to someone close to my age. He is 45,my daughter is 24. They tried to make it work cos they were so much in love but I think the pressure of the age difference thing made it difficult for them.

As fate would have it, I stayed in my daughter’s ex place in Canada last year. My daughter contacted him for me because even though things didn’t work out for them, we are still like family to him. He happily received me. And I stayed in his place for a period of 2 weeks.

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Anytime any of us travel to Canada, we stay in his place. This man finally found someone to marry him even though my daughter was still single. He invited us to the wedding and only I could travel to attend. I stayed in his apartment with his brothers who also came in for the wedding.

This man calls me mummy. S*xy mummy cos everyone knows I don’t look like my age. Thank God for that. That night, before the wedding, we partied in his house and while everyone went to bed, this man came to me, maybe a bit drunk and started telling me that he was only getting married cos he is getting old. That he is not in love with his wife to be.

I told him not to marry out of pressure but love. He then told me that he loves me because I remind him of my daughter . But that the age bracket with my daughter is the issue. I asked him what he was trying to say. He said he feels he has strong feelings for me cos I remind him so much of my daughter.

Maybe it was the alcohol but we ended up sleeping together that night. Yes…the night before his wedding. I felt horrible but he was very sure he wanted to be with me. We argued the next day cos he wanted to call off the wedding and I did not want to be the woman to cause another woman pain.

I could not attend the wedding. I left that day. I could not tell anyone what happened. He go married to that lady quite alright but since that day…he has not stopped trying to convince me to give him a chance. But I asked him…if he was so sure I was the one…why did he still get married that day?

He said he was confused and did not know if I would ever agree to be with him…since he did not want to be alone anymore and getting older, he married the lady…Do you know he went and told my daughter about us…to prove how serious he is. My daughter was happy and she has been telling me to give him a chance. My daughters think he will be perfect for me.

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I lost my mother two months ago and he flew in to attend the burial. We spent time together, slept together. He affirmed his love for me again. He spent quite an amount on me. I eventually told him ok to his proposal. I would be his woman if he divorces his wife or we can remain lovers. But he says I must  marry him….he knew I vowed to remain unmarried.

I like my freedom. I do not want to be married and be subject to any man again. I know he is a good man but I do not wish to be under a man like that again. Is this love worth trading my freedom? I cannot even give him children. I have not told him that sha. Or maybe I should tell him to just forget about me.

He gave me till end of this year to give him an answer….what should I do? I really need this to get off my chest….and be ready with the best answer to this situation.

Anonymous

Photo Credit: That Sister

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