Man refuses to give up meat or liquor for temporary houseguest at his home: ‘Say what now?’
A family drama among four adults currently living under the same roof has drawn thousands of reactions over the past few days.
Writing on the Reddit page known as AITA (“Am I the a–hole?”), a husband and father shared that his stepson, “Ben,” who is 20, is living with the family “right now during summer break from college.”
About a month ago, the man said, his stepson asked if he could move his girlfriend from college into the house for the rest of the summer “because she is going through a rough time at home.”
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Wrote the man with the user name of “spaceneededAITA,” “I wasn’t fully on board with the idea because we already have our two other kids (11 & 9) in the house, and [having] four adults and two kids in our space is a lot.”
However, the man’s wife apparently “struggles to say no” to their 20-year-old son — so now a young woman named “Liv” is “living with us until they go back to school,” wrote the man on the subreddit page.
“I don’t drink every day,” said a man (not pictured) about his family drama, “but I do have alcohol in the house and I like to imbibe with a meal sometimes or have a few cocktails on weekends.” However, this is apparently “triggering” for a young houseguest who’s staying with the family for the summer. (iStock)
“There have been a few issues that have come up since Liv came — pretty much all of which have to do with me,” the man continued.
He said, “First, one of the big reasons Liv wanted to change her living situation is because her parents are alcoholics. Now, I don’t drink every day, but I do have alcohol in the house and I like to imbibe with a meal sometimes or have a few cocktails on weekends. This is triggering for Liv to see a parent drinking with kids around.”
“I also hunt, so we eat meat that I have harvested, and I have a few mounts on the walls. This makes [her] especially uncomfortable.”
He went on, “Second, Liv is vegan. We eat a lot of meat in our house. Pretty much every meal has a meat involved. I also hunt, so we eat meat that I have harvested, and I have a few mounts on the walls. This makes Liv especially uncomfortable.”
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Things then came to a head.
The man revealed that “Ben and Liv sat down with my wife and [me] this past weekend and offered some suggestions to help make Liv’s time here easier.”
The first suggestion from the young couple, the man detailed, “was that if I want to drink, I should do it in private and not around the kids.” (iStock)
He said the young couple had three ideas for fixing things around the house.
Their “first suggestion was that if I want to drink, I should do it in private and not around the kids.”
Their next idea, he said, “was to allow Liv to cook vegan meals for us so that we didn’t eat so much meat all the time. She offered to do grocery shopping and meal planning to provide vegan meals for us instead of our usual meals.”
“I told them that my answer to all of their suggestions is ‘no.’”
Finally, he went on, “they asked if I could remove the mounts from the walls of the house until they go back to school in six weeks.”
When they finished, the man said, “I asked if it was OK for me to talk now and they said yes. I told them that my answer to all of their suggestions is ‘no.’”
A man who enjoys hunting was asked by his stepson and his girlfriend if he would please remove the mounts “from the walls of the house until” the two young people went back to college in a few weeks. (iStock)
He went on, “I told them that I appreciate[d] Liv’s offer to cook for us and she is free to cook a few vegan meals for us during the week if she wants, but we are not going to completely change our diets for one person. But as far as their other suggestions, not happening.”
The man added that his wife then “spoke up and said that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try their suggestions for a little bit and see how things go.”
She also said that “it’s only six weeks and that changing our lifestyles a little bit for a short period wouldn’t kill us.”
“They are not going to force me to change the way I live in my own home for a temporary guest.”
The man noted, “I told all three of them that if they want to change the way they live, they are free to do so. But they are not going to force me to change the way I live in my own home for a temporary guest.”
He said he told them that “if that means I cook separate meals for myself, so be it. But the mounts stay and if I want a beer or a glass of wine, I’m going to have one.”
He finished with, “All three of them think I am being unreasonable and that they aren’t asking too much of me for a short period of time.”
Some 1,200 people commented on the family’s drama to date, with one person noting that the young woman needs to understand she “is lucky to be a guest and guests should never make the kind of asks she is making.” (iStock)
Some 1,200 comments have come in to date about the family upset, with one person noting, “Say what now? Liz contributes zero dollars to this household, yet she’s making demands about how you should live in the home you pay for? And why, exactly? Why should her feelings matter if yours don’t?”
The same writer added that the man was not wrong for the position he’s taken.
“The biggest issue I see is, why does your wife think this is OK?”
“You should feel comfortable in your home, and absolutely nothing you are doing is inappropriate.”
Another person wrote, “Your stepson and his GF are young enough to think they get to have an opinion while living rent-free in your house. Your wife is weak. Stay strong. It’s your home first and foremost. If they complain, they are free to leave.”
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Of all the comments in defense of the original poster, the following response about the family standoff received the most “upvotes” on the platform.
“This is a great lesson to them that you cannot always control the world around you and you certainly cannot control other people.”
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It went on, “She is lucky to be a guest and guests should never make the kind of asks she is making; it is not polite or respectful. If your lifestyle is so hard for her, then your home is not the safe place she needs, and she should make other arrangements.”
“If your lifestyle is so hard for her, then your home is not the safe place she needs, and she should make other arrangements,” said one Reddit user. (iStock)
The comment continued, “The biggest issue I see is, why does your wife think this is OK? Has she been making some similar requests of you before?”
Finally, this: “P.S. I am taking you at your word you drink lightly. If you drink more than two tipples every day, they might have a point.”
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In response, the original poster added, “I don’t drink often. Some weeks I will drink 2-3 days. Sometimes I will go 1-2 weeks without a sip. But I have it in the house and if the mood strikes or I want to pair a drink with a meal, I do it.”
Fox News Digital reached out to a psychologist for comment on the situation.
