I Am Having Double Mind About My Relationship

May 4, 2023 Stan

Dear Madam Jzhane,

I need your help please. I am a 30 year old professional. I am having relationship issues and I need your advice. Please keep me anonymous. For almost 17 months, I was in a relationship with this beautiful lady. My girlfriend is everything a man could ask for and more. I don’t want to talk about her physical attributes but her mind and character is out of this world. I think she is so innocent that she may be too good for me.

Here is the issue, when we met, she has this bestie that is a guy. The guy and her have been friends for like 8 years. I would have sworn something is going on between she and the male bestie but the male bestie is younger than her, so he is like a school son to her, plus the guy was in a serious relationship. And his fiancée is very free also around my girl.

Everything was cool until my girlfriend and I attended the wedding engagement party of this her bestie. I dont know who’s idea was it to play a foolish game called: Marry, fck or kill. When it was my turn, I used names of celebrities to answer who I would like to marry or fck or kill. When it came to my girlfriend’s turn, she answered that she would marry me, f*ck her bestie and kill some other irrelevant person. To everyone, it was just a game but for me, I got intense and jealous immediately.

Like…even if it was a game, why would my girl say she would fck her bestie. I had to ask her when we got home and she laughed saying its just a game. And that I should quit being childish. That even her bestie’s fiancée laughed and said yes….that she would not mind cos she knows her man is a lady private part killer. Yes, some raunchy jokes were shared but I didn’t like the reference that my girl said she would fck her bestie even if it was a game.

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I was forming upset and decided to ignore my girl. I didn’t call or respond to her calls or texts for days. I was actually just sulking….I know its a joke but still…I did not like it. After my girl didn’t hear from me for a week, she sent me a message that she was travelling to the UK for two weeks and she feels both of us need a break cos clearly I am having trust issues. I did not respond to her.

To me, if you say you need a break, that means, the relationship is over. So while my girl took her break in UK…I met someone on Instagram and we met up for hook up. The hook up was really a hook up….I did not even know it was already two weeks cos we met everyday to f*ck. Then my girl came back and sent me a message that she was back. She asked if we can talk. She has been sending me texts upon texts, saying we should be able to sort out any issues we have.

I have been staring at the message she sent. I want to talk to her but at the same time, since I am f*cking another girl, I am thinking we should just break up for good. I am not sure I can be faithful to her now that there is another girl involved. Infact, I am thinking I am not yet ready to settle down. Should I just use this opportunity to end this relationship for good? I dont want to break her heart but I am enjoying myself too much right now….

Should I tell her we should break up or should I keep this hook up as a side chic and see how things go? I am not a bad boy….my head is just messed up right now. Before all these issues, I was ready to marry this year but I don’t even know what I am saying. Please advise me…do you think I am loosing feelings for my girl or am I just being clouded by the s3x with this hook up?

Anonymous

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