How Corona Pandemic & My Family Made Me Loose My Fiancée -Pls Advise
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How Corona Pandemic & My Family Made Me Loose My Fiancée -Pls Advise
Good day,
I need advise. My girlfriend of two years just broke up with me and I am hurting from the heartbreak. Its majorly my fault. I have been begging her but she does not want to listen. My family is saying I should move on if she does not want to listen but I think my family is saying this for their own selfish gain.
So, I am the second child of 5 children. Our first daughter is widowed, so its like my family depends on me for support. My immediate younger sister is married to a man that things is not ok for, so, she is like also depending on me with my other siblings and parents.
I am 37 years old. I been dating my girl like I said for 2 years plus. My plan was to get married after a year of dating but cos of my family needs, I have been postponing the wedding. I know once I get married, things may not be the same again, I may be forced to focus first on my immediate family.
So, I told my girl that we will get married in 2020. She agreed. But this year, because of corona, things didn’t go as planned. I am financially ok but I want a big wedding, I know what I have may not be enough cos I do not have anyone to support me. So, I discussed with her and suggested we move the wedding to next year.
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My girl refused and said if we don’t get married this year, she is out…that she cannot keep waiting for me. I tried to explain to her that the wedding can be in March…Easter period but she says this December or never. Her giving me conditions, I did not like that and I got angry. My family supported me but I think its because of their dependence on me like I said.
My girl and I had a misunderstanding about this last month. She angrily left and that is how we broke up. Pride and ego did not allow me speak to her for almost 3 weeks. When I realized what my wrong, after some good friends advised me, I called her…her number did not connect. I realized she had blocked me…even on social media.
I was surprised at how far she took this. I went to see her but she refused to listen to me. I have been begging her…she walked me out the last time. She said she is in a new relationship…that we are over. Just like that? I mean…did she not truly love me? How can she have replaced me in 3 weeks already?
My friends said she is bluffing. That she is using it to see how far I am serious with her. So now, to show my commitment to her…I want to come see her parents formally, to make my intentions of marrying their daughter known. I plan to do a court marriage before the end of this year, just to show my seriousness….
However, I do not know if that will change her mind cos she is still not talking to me. I do not want to be disgraced if I go to her parents this Christmas to ask for her hand in marriage. My family is not really in support but they have no choice but to agree with me. They say I am marrying out of pressure.
Am I really marrying out of pressure? After two years? I hope this is not a step that will turn out wrong in future? So, I have planned to do a wedding introduction on Christmas day at her parents house. I contacted her parents to say I am coming with my family but they said I should go and settle with their daughter first before coming.
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Yet…this girl does not want to listen. Please how do I beg her to change her mind? I know I was wrong to have allowed her break up after dating for two years. Her main anger is that after we broke up, I did not call her for 3 weeks…that it shows I did not care about her….
I have explained that is not true but she is not convinced I will choose her over my family in future so she has said she is done with me…but I don’t want to loose her…please what else should I do to convince her to change her mind…and how do I be sure this is the right step? all these begging and begging…hope it will not bite me in future…please advise me….
Anonymous
Photo Credit:depositphotos
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