Has God Visited My Iniquities Upon My Children?

True Life Story: Has God Visited My Iniquities Upon My Children?

Hello Lively Stones,

This story belongs to a childhood friend of mine. Please post.

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My name is Tunde (not real name). The issue bothering me is deep and dark. I have hidden this secret from everyone but I am going to be 50 years soon and I have recently started developing this urge to make things right before its too late. So, what happened is that, when my wife and I first got married, we had alot of issues. First, we struggled with infertility. And then I blamed my wife for the infertility because she was always working and never had time for the home.

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To try to force my wife to spend time more at home, I went to bring my mother to stay with us. Instead of my wife to take care of her, she went and hired a young girl to take care of my mom. This angered me more, I started sleeping with the girl. Although, the girl was not so innocent cos she was always throwing herself at me, trying to seduce me. Eventually I yielded and started having an affair. My wife never noticed cos she was too busy.

Then miraculously, my wife got pregnant . Unfortunately, the affair with this maid could not stop cos I was already hooked on her. She was something else my wife could not be to me. Strangely, the girl also got pregnant while my wife was pregnant. I knew there was no way I could allow that so I told her to abort it. She refused so I sent her packing one day before my wife could return back from work. Later her people tried to contact me about the pregnancy and I threatened them that I will deal with them if they tried to ‘lie” that I am responsible for the pregnancy.

The family later agreed for a settlement and I paid 500k for them to carry out an abortion and stay away from me. But they later got back to me to say the abortion was unsuccessful. Infact, the girl almost died in the process. The greedy family went to a quack place for the abortion. In the end, they decided to keep the pregnancy a secret as long as I increase the settlement money to 1M. Over the months,I did that. I paid.

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Months later, my wife gave birth to our son and this girl gave birth to my other son. The boys are just three weeks apart in age. I never contacted them and they never bothered me again. My wife and I later had a daughter but we noticed as our son grew up, he had some issues and it was later diagnosed that he has Autism. He has difficulties in communication and other social interactions.

As a parent, there is nothing we have not done to help our son live a better life but the pain of seeing our child not being able to behave normally is so frustrating. Life has and will never be normal for our son. As for our daughter, she was beautiful, bright and everything we dreamed off but when she was 12, she was abused by a neighbor we trusted and this was happening and we never knew until it was too late.

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Our daughter started failing at school and she could not tell us what the problem was. We thought she was just being lazy with school and we were a bit too hard on her, we sent her to boarding school and that made matters worse. By the time she was 14, she was battling depression. It was a very strange time for us. How do you treat depression? Our daughter was always trying to commit suicide until a therapist was able to help us get it out from her about the abuse she faced.

Unfortunately, the neighbor had moved and there was nothing we could do. We had to home school our child so she would not harm herself. In all these happenings, I felt deep inside me that my children were being punished for my sins. For the fact that I had a girl pregnant and hid it from my wife and that the child was abandoned by me. I struggled for years with all these pain.

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Today, my daughter managed to get into university but she is a complete disappointment to us. She lives wild and does drugs. We feel helpless as her parents. My wife too has become so tired that she just feel so hopeless. We have gone to several prayer houses for our children, nothing came out of it. They are both grown adults and the future is so bleak for them. My children who are supposed to be my fruit of my investments are nothing to write home about.

Sometimes I wonder, if I should connect with my other son, maybe go look for him and ask his mother for forgiveness, maybe God can use that child to make me smile because right now, I have nothing to smile about when it comes to my children. But I am also afraid of hurting my wife…she has been through alot…how will she take it when she finds out that I slept with a maid and impregnated her many years ago? Will she ever forgive me when she finds out I have a healthy son while her children are not ok?

Do you think God is punishing me for my past? Or do you think these misfortunes are completely unrelated?  If they are related, what can I do to redeem myself and maybe God will heal my children? Or is it too late?

Please advise me.

Anonymous

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