Gemma Collins hid self harm secret because she feared she’d be ‘locked up forever’
GEMMA Collins has revealed that she hid her self harming secret because she feared she’d be “locked up forever”.
The 41-year-old will take an emotional look into her past to raise awareness in her upcoming Channel 4 documentary, Gemma Collins: Self-Harm & Me.
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Now in a new teaser for her upcoming one-off, viewers see the TV star admitting she never spoke about her self-harming battle because she was scared she would be sent to a “mental asylum” for the rest of her life.
Gemma explained that she would wear long sleeves to hide the marks on her arms so teachers and friends never found out.
The TV star said: “I hid it so well. I didn’t do it every day or every week – it was every couple of months.
“But when I did do it, I knew how to cover it up. When I felt pressured I just would cut myself and feel fine again. It was always on my arm and I would feel like the stress had gone.
“But I never ever understood why I did it. People don’t self-harm because they want to kill themselves. It’s really complex.”
Gemma admitted that she kept silent about her mental health out of fear that she’d be locked up.
“When I was growing up you didn’t talk about your problems or aired your dirty laundry in public,” she continued.
“So when I started self-harming I couldn’t tell anyone because I was thinking I’m going to get locked up, not going to see my family or friends and I’m going to be in a mental asylum my whole life.”
She went onto say that she never spoke about her self-harming battle because she “was scared”.
“I was getting overwhelming emotion and I couldn’t cope with it,” Gemma is heard saying. “It’s something that I’ve buried for 20 years”.
Speaking with her mother Joan in another scene, the former Towie star admits: “It’s not like a normal conversation you can have with someone.
“I never told anyone because it was shameful, I was scared. I wish I were brave enough to ask for the help.
“I could’ve saved myself a lot of pain.”
Gemma shared a candid trailer on her Instagram and wrote alongside the clip: “I’m so proud of my new documentary Gemma Collins: Self Harm and Me coming to @channel4 next Wednesday 16th February at 9pm.
“I’m revealing a side of me I’ve previously kept very private. It has been hard and emotional to talk about, but it’s so important we open up about these things more and encourage others to get help if they need it.”
You’re Not Alone
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
- Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
- Movember, www.uk.movember.com
- Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk, 03444 775 774 Monday-Friday 9.30am-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-8pm
In July, we exclusively revealed that Gemma was teaming up with Channel 4 for the documentary.
Supported by mental health charity Mind, we revealed how Gemma would speak to young people about their experiences of self-harm, as well as digging deep into her past to relive her own experiences.
An insider said: “Gemma and Channel 4 have worked closely together with Mind to make this new film that will come out later this year.
“The rates of self-harm have soared by 70 per cent in the past decade, with a third of 16 to 25 year old’s saying they have self-harmed at some point. Gemma wanted to do something to help raise awareness on the topic.
“She has never spoken before publicly about her experience of self-harming but believes by using her platform and speaking about how it affected her, she can ultimately help others.
“This is a side to Gemma rarely seen by anyone outside of her inner circle and is deeply personal.
“However she feels by speaking out and telling her story, she will help others to reach out and talk to someone before it’s too late.”
The film will see Gemma – who found fame on Towie – also speaking to experts who will explain how to spot signs someone is self-harming and will provide details of what support is out there for people struggling with their mental health.
Last year, Gemma’s fans were left in tears as the brave star opened up about her self-harm battle on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories.
The TV star spoke frankly about her mental health struggle on the show, admitting that she can still see scars on her arms now.
Gemma explained that she started self-harming when she was 20, when her long-term boyfriend left her for somebody else after she was forced to terminate a pregnancy because doctors said the baby was “deformed”.
She told Piers: “I was desperately unhappy. It’s shocking really, isn’t it?
“I’ve still got scars on my wrist that I can see now. That especially, I look at that now and I see it as a sign of how far I’ve come.”
Gemma Collins: Self-Harm & Me airs on Wednesday, February 16 at 9pm on Channel 4.
If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123, email [email protected] or visit samaritans.org for more info.
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