The moment I knew: her smile cut through the freezing morning air and warmed me like nothing else | Dating

In 2016, I was a 17-year-old budding actor with big dreams. In my summer school holidays I took a role in a play at a Sydney youth theatre company. The first day of any rehearsal fills me with anxiety. There are things I repeat to myself to calm my nerves: take a deep breath. Remember your lines. Make sure your hands aren’t sweaty.

These words usually work a charm. But when one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen walked into rehearsals, my calm went out the window.

Her name was Tamara. She was a year older, dressed in a tomboyish outfit and had a smile that lit up the room. She was laser focused during rehearsals, then transformed into a goofy, kind human in breaks. We didn’t have any scenes together but when the show wrapped, I plucked up the courage to tell her how much I admired her acting.

Over the next six years I kept track of her via social media. I got a role in Home and Away then moved to Western Australia to study acting; Tamara moved to Melbourne.

After graduation I moved back to Sydney, and in 2022 I caught up with a mutual friend, who mentioned Tamara – she was performing in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, she said. I blurted out: “You know, I’ve had the biggest crush on Tamara since I was a teenager.”

My friend’s eyes widened, but when she realised I was serious she shifted straight into matchmaker mode: “Right, I’ll set you up!”

My friend spoke privately to Tamara who gave the green light for me to ask her on a date – then everything suddenly became very real.

I was travelling to Melbourne for a theatre meeting the following weekend, so I sent Tamara a message. Would she have time to catch up? Her show finished late, she responded, but could I meet afterwards, at 11pm?

I stood waiting for Tamara on a wintry Melbourne street near the Princess theatre, my flimsy jacket no match for the bitter weather. Tamara walked towards me, rugged up in a warm coat, and when I saw her for the first time after all those years, she was still one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. My anxious 17-year-old self came rushing back. Take a deep breath. Remember your lines: “So good to see you after all of these years.” We hugged. Make sure your hands aren’t sweaty … the Melbourne chill made it easy to hide my hands in my pockets.

We walked to a bar and it felt like two old friends catching up, not acquaintances meeting as adults for the first time. I was struck by our similar sense of humour and how we weren’t afraid to be silly in front of each other.

Neither of us are seasoned drinkers, so we got tipsy quickly on amaretto sours, getting more animated and goofy as the night wore on. I could’ve sworn they substituted truth serum for almond liqueur, because a few drinks in I confessed I’d had a teenage crush on her. She said she’d had the same feelings all those years ago but hadn’t been brave enough to let me know. We sat there laughing at our younger selves. Then, in case it hadn’t been clear my feelings were not in the past tense, I added: “I still have a crush on you now.”

It was 4am and we’d lost track of time. I walked Tamara to her apartment. Inside, we shared a kiss – I was blindsided by how natural it felt.

I was over the moon when Tamara suggested a coffee date the next morning. We met in the city centre. The excitement of seeing each other again blitzed through the Sunday scaries. As Tamara sipped her latte in the sun, I knew I would never be more enamoured of anyone. The smile that had caught my eye as a teenager cut through the freezing Melbourne morning air and warmed me like nothing I had ever experienced.

Our relationship progressed with long-distance visits, then a few months later I moved to Melbourne for work. Two years on, we are back in our home city of Sydney, performing in Bell Shakespeare’s production of King Lear. The casting director had no clue we were a couple when he cast us as love interests. It feels serendipitous to be working together again.

On stage we have a natural chemistry, and behind the scenes we’re always trying to make each other laugh.

Tamara still moves through the world with grace and kindness. This industry can induce a lot of anxiety about the future, but when you have someone by your side who has your back, those fears fall by the wayside.

We’re fortunate the careers we’ve chosen – in a notoriously feast-or-famine business we dreamed of as teenagers – have brought us back to each other.

Seventeen-year-old me would be jumping for joy.