Why I Suspect My Husband Is Cheating But What Can I Do About It?

February 23, 2024 Stan

True Life Story: Why I Suspect My Husband Is Cheating But What Can I Do About It?

Good Morning Lively Stones,

This is coming from a confused wife. So, my husband is not a bad person but sometimes he does some things that really upset me and I have tried to adapt or overlook but the whole thing am bottling up is making me to almost loose control of myself. So, there is this family that go to the same church as us. We became close after we discovered the wife is from the same clan and village with my husband back in kwara. She used to call my husband her big brother.

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Infact, sometimes, she and her children used to come to our place and visit alot. However, since last year, this woman and her husband have been having issues. This man stopped coming to church because the pastor and my husband cautioned him to stop beating his wife. Sometimes, the couple will fight so hard, the woman will run to our house to report to my husband. One day, my husband was so angry, that he followed this woman back to her house and slapped the husband for beating his ”sister”.

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After that fight, the man got so annoyed that he threw the woman’s things out. Of course, she had not where to go to but our house. I did not really like the idea but I did not want to seem insensitive to another woman going through domestic violence. So this woman and her little baby that was still breastfeeding would sleep in our guest room. After two days, I asked my husband how long this woman will stay with us and he said, as long as she needs to before she decides what to do.

That answer did not sit well with me but I thought my husband was just being a good man. This woman, Abigail really became very comfortable in my house. She would wake up early, sweep, clean and wash. She asked me if she can cook for me, I said no, if not, she would have cooked. I had to call her one day to talk to her;woman to woman. I told her I am not comfortable with her in my home, doing home chores like she is in her husband’s house.

Abigail replied me that she is just trying to repay us for taking her in, since she has no other family in Lagos. I told her to go back to her family in Kwara but she said she is looking for a job and will soon find somewhere else to squat, that I should bear with her. One Saturday, I had a wedding and I was supposed to go with my husband but he told me that something came up at work, so he has to go to work. My husband even left the house around 9am to work.

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Later, I got ready and left for the wedding around 11am. Abigail said she would be going out but because of the kids, she would wait for me to return so she can watch my kids for me. I returned from the wedding early cos I realized my flow started early and I was wearing cream color, I did not want to get stained, so after like 2 hours, I left the wedding and came home. When I got home, my kids were at the balcony, soon as they saw me downstairs, they came to open the door.

Since my kids opened the door for me, I did not ring the bell. So, once I stepped in, I asked of Abigail and they said she was in her room. I went to check on her to tell her I was back but I noticed the door was locked. That was strange cos we dont lock doors, so I knocked hard expecting Abigail to open but I heard my husband’s voice shouting who is that…I was shocked to hear my husband’s voice from Abigail’s room…so I answered, it me…what are you doing inside there….I panicked thinking the worst.

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And it took like several minutes before the door was open and hubby came out looking all confused and wondering how I am back so early and all I wanted to hear was, are you f#cking this woman behind my back? In my own house? With my children in the living room? Of course, they both denied it, saying they were just gisting but why lock the door to gist? They said because the children were making noise….so what? Why is my husband even back so early…he said the thing he went to do at work was not much….so these people think I am stupid? Well, I am not a fool…I got upset and attacked Abigail and threw her things out. My husband tried to hold me, saying I am wrong, that nothing happened but I was like, she has to go.

That was about two months ago. This woman left my house, I still don’t know why my husband did what he did…I have asked him several questions and he has denied anything ever happened between them. But I am so disturbed by it that its affecting my emotional well being. I have lost trust and respect for my husband. My husband too is distancing himself from me, he said I nagging for no reason. Our pastor counselled us and told me to forget what happened, that I should stop imagining bad things so I can work on my marriage and move past the issue. I have tried, I swear, I have tried to move on but its been so rough.

Last Sunday, I was shocked to see this Abigail in church. I heard she has gone back to her husband. She dressed in a very tight clingy dress that was showing her curves. People were just looking at her, like…how do you dress to church like this????. I was more shocked that she had the nerve to come greet my husband yet she did not greet me. I got upset at my husband for answering her greeting when this woman did not greet me. Again, hubby says that I am making a mountain out of nothing. But as a woman, you know that feeling you have when things are not right correct? I just know. So, that night, my husband tried to touch me for s3x, I removed his hand cos I was tired and maybe still a upset….

Usually, when I pretend to be tired for s3x, hubby used to try to seduce me and later, I would be in the mood, but this time, he did not even try to do anything. I later asked him why he did not try to convince me, he said how long will he be begging me for s3x when there are many out there who are looking for and begging men for s3x. I was shocked. This is not the man I have been married to for almost 9 years. I now know…something is seriously wrong and I am afraid I do not know what to do.