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3 Instant Benefits of Moving Your Arguments From Verbal to Text


So, it happened again? The constant arguments and the lingering stress that never seem to fade.

The hurtful words exchanged, the brazen confrontations that have turned your once harmonious relationship into a battleground, shattering the peace and joy you once cherished.

It’s exhausting, isn’t it? The emotional strain piles up, and each fight leaves a deeper scar.

You both feel misunderstood, hurt, and defensive. It’s not just about the present arguments but the fear of what might come next.

The tension is mounting, and you can’t shake the dread that one day, things might spiral out of control, leading to something even more damaging.

The emotional toll is heavy, and the shadow of potential physical abuse looms, casting a dark cloud over your future together.

As someone who got married in 2016, I’ve had a few of those heated incidents myself in those first eight years of my marriage.

However, I’ve found something profound: the arguments we had through chats resulted in more success and dignity for both of us, and you will soon find out why.

In previous posts, I’ve shared various strategies to handle constant arguments and disagreements in relationships, as seen in this post: 7 Things to Consider When You Argue Constantly in Your Relationship.

Today, I’m sharing another approach to make your arguments healthier and more constructive.

So, what are the benefits of moving your arguments from verbal to text?

Benefits of Moving Your Arguments From Verbal to Text

Two people sitting on a couch looking at their phones

1. It Promotes Clarity and Precision:

Switching to text during arguments can help you slow down and think more carefully about what you want to say.

In a face-to-face argument, it’s easy to blurt out something like, “You never listen to me!” in the heat of the moment, which can make things worse.

But when you’re texting, you might type, “I feel like I’m not being heard,” which is clearer and less confrontational.

Texting also gives you the chance to read over your message before sending it, ensuring you’re expressing yourself exactly as you intend.

It’s like a built-in filter that helps you avoid saying something you might regret later.

This can prevent misunderstandings and help you communicate more effectively.

Unlike verbal arguments, where words can slip out without much thought, texting allows you to carefully choose your words and avoid saying something you’ll regret.

This extra layer of thoughtfulness can lead to more meaningful and productive conversations, helping you and your partner understand each other better.

So, next time tensions rise, consider texting as a way to keep things clear and constructive.

2. It Encourages Emotional Control and Neutral Tone:

Texting can help keep emotions in check during an argument.

When you’re face-to-face, it’s easy for tempers to flare and voices to rise.

But with text, you have a moment to pause and compose yourself before responding.

This pause can prevent knee-jerk reactions and angry outbursts.

Since text doesn’t carry tone the same way spoken words do, it also minimizes the risk of interpreting a message as more hostile or emotional than intended.

For example, instead of snapping back with an angry retort, you can take a breath and choose your words more carefully.

You might say, “I’m feeling upset because…” instead of “You’re making me angry!” This helps maintain a neutral tone, making it easier to stay calm and focused on resolving the issue.

Using text as a medium can act as a buffer, creating a less charged environment.

It helps both of you approach the conversation with a cooler head, reducing the likelihood of saying things you’ll later regret.

This way, you can address the core issues without getting sidetracked by emotional reactions, leading to more constructive and peaceful exchanges.

3. It Provides Accountability and Opportunity for Reflection:

Texting creates a written record of your conversations, which can be a valuable tool for reflection and accountability.

When you argue verbally, it’s easy to forget exactly what was said, leading to “he said, she said” situations.

With text, you can revisit the conversation later to understand each other’s points more clearly and track the progression of your discussions.

For instance, if you feel that your partner consistently dismisses your concerns, you can look back at your messages to see if there’s a pattern.

This written trail helps hold each other accountable for your words and actions.

It can also serve as a reminder of any agreements or promises made during the conversation, making it easier to follow through on them.

Having this record can encourage both partners to be more mindful of their words, knowing that their statements are documented.

It offers a chance to reflect on past arguments, learn from them, and identify areas for improvement.

This process of reviewing and reflecting can lead to a deeper understanding and a stronger, more respectful relationship.

As you navigate through these conversations, you might find new ways to communicate and resolve conflicts more effectively, opening the door to continuous growth and learning together.

How Do You Know It’s Time to Move From Verbal to Text?

A person and another person sitting on a bench looking at their phones

1. When There’s Confusion About What Was Said:

If you often find yourselves saying, “You said this” or “No, I didn’t say that,” after an argument, it might be a sign to switch to texting.

Written conversations provide a clear record of what was said, reducing misunderstandings and preventing one person from feeling misquoted or misinterpreted.

2. When Arguments Escalate Quickly:

If verbal arguments often turn into shouting matches or intense emotional outbursts, texting can help you both slow down and think before responding, making it easier to manage the situation calmly.

3. When Communication Breaks Down:

If you struggle with talking over each other or not listening, text can offer a more structured way to communicate, ensuring that both sides are fully heard without interruption.

4. When You Struggle to Express Yourself Clearly:

If you frequently feel misunderstood or can’t find the right words in the moment, texting provides the space to think and express your feelings more accurately, leading to clearer and more constructive discussions.

5. When Emotional Control Is Difficult:

If emotional responses often take over during arguments, texting can help maintain a neutral tone.

The time to type out a response allows you to process your emotions and respond more thoughtfully.

6. When You Need to Reflect:

If you benefit from reviewing what was said during an argument to understand and learn from it, texting offers a handy record.

This can help you both reflect on your communication styles and make necessary improvements.

What Would You Rather Do?

Two young adults, one with curly hair and the other with a beard, stand against an orange wall, both looking at their smartphones. They wear casual outfits, including jeans and watches. The scene has a relaxed, modern vibe.

I know verbal arguments can be tempting, especially when you’re feeling emotional and want to express yourself fully.

But think about the bigger picture: would you rather have a healthy argument that resolves issues or tear your home apart with harsh words and misunderstandings?

I’d choose for you—opting for healthy, constructive arguments.

It’s not always easy to switch to text, but the benefits are clear. It allows for clarity, emotional control, and a chance to reflect.

So, why not try it next time?

You might find it helps you communicate more effectively and strengthens your relationship.

How do you handle disagreements, and are you ready to make a change for the better?

The choice is yours, and the impact could be profound. I wish you all the best.



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