FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

In Malawi a book titled: "HOW TO CHANGE YOUR WIFE IN 30 DAYS" sold two million copies in one week, before it was discovered that the title had a spelling error!

The correct title is: "HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS".​ After the correction, for the whole month, only 3 copies were sold.

MORAL LESSON: Nobody wants to change himself/herself, but they'll do everything to change someone else"...
Let's strive to change ourselves first.
Let's be patient and tolerate one another. We are born to live together. Love is life and life is love..

😂😂😂😂😂😂
*How did d Fight start?:*

After Service on Sunday, a Wife saw Her Husband sitting quietly in d Church Garden. She got concerned and decided to ask Him.

Wife: Hey Darling, why are U sitting so quietly in d Garden? What is Bothering U?

Husband: I am thinking about d Confession of Our Pastor. It's making Me Uncomfortable.

Wife: What is it?

Husband: D Pastor confessed that He has Slept wth all d Married Women and single Girls in d Church 😡but ONLY one Woman didn't want to Sleep wth Him because She Fears God.

Wife: It must be that Madam Comfort...She's always doing Holy Holy. ...........😳😳😳😳

NA THERE THE FIGHT START!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.

*PONDER ON THIS*

*1. Do not keep stupid friends all in the name of "No one knows tomorrow." They may not allow you to see that tomorrow, so be very careful.*

*2. Marrying a lady with children doesn't mean you are a fool. A Fool is the biological father that ran away from his responsibility.*

*3. When you care too much, you will be treated as a fool, because they think you can't live without them. Therefore, be wise.*

*4.If you want to go far in life, train your heart to accept disappointments, even if it comes from those you trusted. Because every disappointment is blessing.*

*5. A friend who becomes an enemy after a little misunderstanding has been an enemy all along. They were just pretending. So hold yourself.*

*6. My people, stop keeping clothes and shoes for special occasions, start wearing them when you can. Because nowadays, being alive alone is a special occasion.*

*7. If nobody is mocking or criticizing you, it means you are a nobody. No one throws stones at a fruitless tree. Continue to be fruitful.*

*8. If you want to become useless in life, I mean very useless, depend on people.*

*9. When you find out that, no one is correcting you, don't think you are perfect, you are just beyond repair.*

*10. Don't expect me to hate someone just because you hate him or her. Let me educate you, HATE is not a communicable disease. Suffer your hate virus alone and don't involve me.*

*11. Did you know that, one of the definitions of madness is the act of increasing your speed when you know that you have missed the road, way, direction?*

*12.Life is a teacher, the more you live the more you learn*

*13. Attitude is everything in life*

A young, well qualified Officer left his job in Lagos and emigrated to Canada for better prospects and applied for a salesman's job at Vancouver's premier downtown department store. It was the biggest store in the world; you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

"Yes sir, I was a salesman in Nigeria."

The boss liked him and said, "You can start tomorrow. Learn fast and do well."

The first working day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it.

Finally 06:00pm came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked,

"How many sales did you make today?"

"Sir, I made ONE sale!" said the young salesman rather happily.

"Only one sale?!" shot back the boss. "No! No! You see, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day.
If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale.

By the way, how much was your sale worth?"

"$933,005.00", said the man.

"What? How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well," said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook.

Then I sold him a good fishing rod and some fishing gear.

Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast.

So I told him he'd be needing a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that 20-foot schooner with the twin engines.

Then he said his Volkswagen wouldn't be able to carry it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer.

I then asked him where he'll be staying and since he had not decided, I took him to camping department and sold him a six-sleeper camper tent.

Then he said I should throw in about $200 worth of groceries and two cases of juice."

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?!"

"No, sir," answered the young man, "he came in to buy sanitary napkins for his wife and I convinced him that since he will be bored with his wife being in period - fishing is the best remedy for boredom."

Boss: "Where did you acquire this professional training?!"

"Gbagi market in Ibadan, Oyo State, Nigeria!♻️

30 SELF DEVELOPMENT TIPS FOR 2023

1. Make friends with successful people and occasionally buy them gift and surprise them with lunch because successful people always give and hardly get, so when you give them, they value the gift a lot.

2. Get a mentor and follow his instructions and respect the relationship. Never beg your mentor for money or disrespect his or her privacy.

3. Make new positive friends as often as possible and ensure you keep the communication line open. Create a network of friends and not just connections.

5. Show kindness to everyone. Some small boys today will be big boys tomorrow. The biggest dog in the neighborhood was once a puppy. And keep the information/secret to yourself.

6. Always plan ahead and be proactive. He that plans the future work less in the future.

7. Listen to speeches and messages from great teachers. Both religious and educational.

8. Attend seminars and training on any area you need to improve yourself. Train the trainer, personal development, public speaking, sales etc.

9. Have the habit of keeping a pen and a writing pad handy because ideas come in the form of flashes. The smallest pen is bigger and better than the biggest brain.

10. Make sure at every point in time you are reading a book. If you spend 20 minutes reading daily, for 52 weeks you would have consumed 1,000,000 words.

11.Stay away from television as much as possible. You can watch educational channels. Men with big TV sit in front of them to watch men with big library.

12 Put control over your mouth, never say evil of any man, what you are not certain of should not be said. Say good of all men.

13. Always show appreciation for any good deed you received.

14. Always help someone in need.

15. Live a debt free life. What you can’t pay cash for is not your size.

16. Give out loans that you can part with as gift, so that you don’t destroy your business and relationship.

17. Create legitimate multiple source of income.

18. Save at least 10 percent of your income.

19. Invest a portion of your income. And be patient to see it grow. If what you have in your hands is not good to be called a harvest then it’s a seed, sow it.

20. Keep a good financial record of all income and expenses, so you won’t ask later “where did my money go”

21. Be involved in community service. Control traffic, free lesson class for students etc.

22. Keep getting better on your daily goals and dream, develop yourself on them and make sure you get to the top 10 % of your industry.

23. Make sure you engage in exercise. It keeps your brain alert and your body fit to enjoy your success.

24. Pray often, and know that for every success,God made it possible.

25. Develop a fighting spirit. Many give up at the least opposition. But opposition is mostly a sign of greater things ahead. Keep fighting.

26. Face your fears. One of the greatest tools the enemy employs to cripple people is fear. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. The cave you fear to enter may hold the treasure you seek.

27. Doubt your doubt. Doubting is the enemy of the best. The people who do great exploits are calculated risk-takers.

28. Be Kingdom minded. Find a need in the house of God and meet it. When you make Gods business your business, He will make your busines your business.

29. Spend time with your family. Aside your relationship with God, spending time with your family should be your topmost priority. Don't miss out on the growth maze of your children because of a career or ministry.

30. Finally get enough rest. Create some me-time to rest. If you die your company will find a replacement. Make sure you don't develop a "Superman Syndrome". Give of your best but don't die trying to save the world. Make time to rest. You are not a robot. Even God rested after creation.

Wishing you the very best of 2023.

*A BANKER WENT TO A YORUBA RESTAURANT IN IBADAN TO EAT:*

*#BANKER : WHAT DO YOU HAVE?*

*#WAITER : AMALA, EWEDU, GBEGIRI, OFADA RICE, WHITE RICE, EFO RIRO, AKARA , IYAN, EWA AGANYIN, MOI-MOI, EBA, EGUSI , OBE ATA...*

#BANKER: OKAY... BRING a plate of Ewedu AND GBEGIRI WITH AMALA, PUT 2 OGUFE, 1 SHAKI, 2 PONMO, 2 ABODI, 1 ROUNDABOUT AND PACK 2 OFADA RICE WITH BEEF AND OBE ATA TAKEAWAY....

*#WAITER.... HOW DO YOU WANT THE EWEDU? DO YOU WANT IT ON TOP OR IN ANOTHER PLATE.*

*#BANKER... PUT IT ON TOP AND SPREAD THE AMALA WE'LL WE'LL.*

*#WAITER..... WHAT ABOUT THE TAKEAWAY?*
*#BANKER....... SAME THING, PACK IT TOGETHER IN ONE PLATE.*

*#WAITER ..... Will YOU LIKE PURE WATER OR BOTTLE WATER?*

*#BANKER..... BOTTLE WATER.*

*#WAITER ....... COLD ONE OR ROOM TEMPERATURE.*

#BANKER ...... CHILLED BOTTLE OF WATER.*

*#WAITER : OGA SORRY SA, AWA FOOD DON FINISH.*

*#BANKER : (ANGRILY) WHY THEN DID YOU TELL ME THAT LONG MENU? AND ALL THE SERIES OF QUESTIONS YOU'VE BEEN ASKING? YOU'VE BEEN WASTING MY TIME.*

*#WAITER: (SMILING) OGA SA, SHEBI WHEN I COME TO YOUR BANK ATM; AFTER ASKING ME FOR ENGLISH OR YORUBA, WITHDRAW OR CHECK BALANCE, PIN, SAVINGS OR CURRENT, AMOUNT, PRINT RECEIPT, NO RECEIPT, YOUR ATM GO COMES TELL ME SAY, #TEMPORALY_UNAVAILABLE_TO_DISPENCE_CASH*

*SHEBI NOW YOU KNOW HOW E TAKE DEY PAIN PERSON.....😄🤣😁

CHEERS!!!
LAUGH AWAY YOUR STRESS OF TODAY.*